


Rip Out the Ending (And Write a New Story)

by A_Zap



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x01, 10x02, 10x03, AU, Gen, Nothing worse than what's in the show, Takes place in 6x20, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-10 10:49:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12910350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Zap/pseuds/A_Zap
Summary: Dean, Sam, and Bobby are getting ready to question Cas on what he's really been up to when the Messenger of God pops up with a lesson for them to learn. They wind up in 2014 and learn that, really, it's all downhill from here. So what can they do to change this future?Takes place in 6x20, 10x01, 10x02, and 10x03.





	1. Let's Do the Time Warp Again

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FF.Net on Dec. 20 through Dec. 24, 2014.

"Dean, we've got proof now!" Sam argued. "He's obviously been spying on us, working for Crowley!"

"C'mon, boy." Bobby said, resigned. "We've got to ask him what's been going on. Something's been off ever since he came back, and now…" He sighed and rubbed his face. "The holy oil is the only way that we can make him stay and actually answer our damn questions truthfully."

Dean refused to look at the two, peering out the window of the abandoned house that they all still stood in. He wanted to protest, to tell them that Cas was still on their side, but how could he?

Castiel "I don't understand that reference" Angel of the Lord had made an actual pop culture reference. The same exact reference that Dean had used earlier to describe what Sam and Bobby were even suggesting. Cas had definitely been spying on them. That means that he must have betrayed them for Crowley.

Even knowing that, there were still so many things that didn't add up.

Dean sighed. Bobby was right. He pushed aside his confusion as he felt anger rise up. _How could Cas do this to us?_ "Alright. Get out the oil, we'll have to set things up so he…"

"Wow, going overboard a bit. Don't you think?"

The three of them stiffened at the familiar voice.

_It can't be._ Dean thought. _He's dead._ Then again, when had that ever counted for something in the world of the Winchesters?

They whirled around and there he leaned nonchalantly against the wall.

Gabriel smirked around the lollipop in his mouth. "Miss me, kiddos?"

"Gabriel?" Sam's voice seemed to have a thin thread of hope in it, like he was _glad_ to see the archangel.

Gabriel grinned. "The one and only!" He took a bow.

"Hmph. So you really weren't just a Trickster." Bobby groused. He had only met him when he was wearing the guise of a trickster, so despite the boys' stories he couldn't quite believe them.

"Yep!"

"You were dead." Dean said bluntly.

"Yeah, but Dad brought me back, just like Cassie. It seems supporting you was the way to go." Gabriel smiled as he left the wall. "But now…" He gave a low whistle. "Wow, way to treat someone who's done nothing but protect you."

"Protect us?" Dean asked, incredulous. "He's working with Crowley! Who, I might add, just set demons on us!"

"If you didn't notice, Cas was just as surprised by those guys. Rumor is he threatened to tear Crowley to pieces if he tried hurting you guys again." Gabriel shrugged. "Anyway, you guys have been treating Cas pretty crappy since the Apocalypse. It's no wonder he's cracking from all of the stress."

"But Gabriel," Sam picked up where Dean left off, "he's working with – "

"A demon, yeah." Gabriel finished, looking thoroughly unimpressed. "Bit of pot calling the kettle black from you guys, isn't it? Is there any one of you that _hasn't_ worked with or made a deal with a demon?" He was met with silence. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Yeah, well," Dean tried to respond, "why didn't he come to me?"

"Would you really have left your so-called 'apple pie life' for Cas? You really expect me to believe that?" Gabriel raised his eyebrows in disbelief and pulled out his sucker. "Besides, you guys have been treating him like crap. Rachel was right when she basically said that you treat him like a tool."

Dean was starting to get pissed. How could Gabriel waltz in here and just start talking smack when –

"And what's your excuse?" Dean crossed his arms, sure that he had Gabriel pinned. "If you've really been alive, then why haven't you been helping him? You're an archangel; you'd be a match for Raphael unlike Cas."

"So you did notice that Cas was outmatched! Gold star for you, Dean-o!" Gabriel gave a few claps. Then he shrugged. "Why haven't I interfered? Let's think for a moment," he tilted his head a bit as if copying Cas, "what happened the last time I stuck out my neck for humanity?" The lollipop went back into his mouth. "Oh, yeah, I ended up getting stabbed to death." His voice sounded a bit bitter.

Dean and Sam shared a guilty glance. The archangel had really helped them out in the end by telling them how to shove Lucifer back in the Cage, even if it had cost him Sam. "We did go back and give you a proper burial." Sam said quietly.

Gabriel blinked. "Well, thanks for that, I suppose." He said. "But this isn't about me, it's about Cas." His eyes hardened. "You're planning on sticking my baby brother in a ring of holy fire like he's some criminal, like he's never helped you at all. What kind of friends are you?"

All three of them shifted uncomfortably. "We don't like it, but how else are we supposed to get a straight answer out of him?" Bobby finally asked.

Gabriel looked at all of them like they were stupid. "I don't know." He said slowly, pulling out the now empty stick. "How about revealing that you know the truth and then actually asking him about it? And then actually listening to what he says? That just might work."

Dean snorted. "If that were going to work, he would have told us already. This is the only way – "

"You know, it's this kind of attitude, this complete rejection of him, that will be the final straw that breaks him." Anger seethed in Gabriel's voice. "Maybe if you guys had a sympathetic or supportive bone in your body, things could turn out differently. Since that is how you normally act with family, or have you just been feeding him a bunch of bull when you say he's family?"

What Gabriel said made them pause.

"What do you mean 'things could turn out differently?'" Dean asked, a feeling of dread suddenly forming in the pit of his stomach.

Gabriel glared at him, summoning a new lollipop to enjoy.

Sam took a bit longer to form his question. "Gabriel, if you're avoiding the war," he started, "why are you revealing yourself now? To us?" He gestured at the three of them.

"You always were the smarter one, Sammy." Gabriel grinned at him, and winked. "Definitely the more attractive one, too."

"Gabriel." Dean barked, ignoring Gabriel's teasing.

"Well, even I can't ignore Dad when he comes calling." Gabriel said nonchalantly. "I am still the Messenger, and there was a message that needed to be delivered."

They were stunned. "God?" Dean finally said. "God left the building."

"Yeah, but he's always had a soft spot for Castiel. And he's apparently taken a peek at the future." Gabriel said matter-of-factly. "He doesn't like how things are shaping up for him." Gabriel's eyes softened. "Personally, I don't like it either. It's downright depressing."

The three hunters glanced at each other. What could be so bad about the future?

"So?" Dean finally said. "What's that got to do with us?"

"The way Dad sees it, this is the point where everything really started to go downhill." Gabriel shrugged. "He thinks that if you all had been a bit more understanding, things wouldn't have turned out so bad because Cas wouldn't have been alone."

"And?"

"So who better to teach you all a lesson than the Trickster?" Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows.

"Well, you've given your message, you can leave now." Dean turned away, still ready to get the holy oil out of the trunk of the Impala.

Gabriel appeared right in Dean's path. "You haven't learned jack squat though. You're still going to go through with your plan."

"Let me through, Gabriel," Dean growled.

"Dean," Sam hissed at his back.

Gabriel's face hardened. "I'm not going to let you treat my baby brother like that." He lifted a hand. "I hate to take a leaf out of Zachariah's book, but at least I'm not a total asshole like him. I suggest you start with your friend Sheriff Mills."

Dean lunged at Gabriel. "Don't – "

"Just remember, time is fluid and it's not all written in stone." Gabriel snapped his fingers and all Dean could see was a bright light.


	2. What the Hell?

Dean opened his eyes to see an overcast sky. For some reason he couldn't remember, he was laying on the ground. Had he gotten drunk last night? He couldn't remember…

_Gabriel!_ Memories hit him like a racing train. He sat up and looked around. Sam and Bobby also lay on the ground, and Dean scrambled over to them, quickly checking their pulse. He breathed a sigh of relief over the fact that they were alive. Still, he didn't like whatever Gabriel had thrown them into.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauties! Wake up!" He shook both of them until he heard them groan.

Both of them blinked up at the sky and then he saw realization as they remembered. A string of curse words came out of Bobby's mouth. Sam looked at their surroundings.

"Where are we?" He asked, and for the first time, Dean took a serious look around.

They were in the remains of some house. It looked like fire or some sort of explosion had gutted it. What was left was falling apart from exposure to the elements. It appeared to be in the middle of some sort of junk yard as there were rusted and destroyed cars all around them. The atmosphere was creepy and everything seemed to scream that something bad had happened, as it appeared that no one had been here in years.

"I have no clue." Dean said, standing up and brushing some of the dirt on his hands onto his jeans.

Bobby's eyes grew wide. "I do." He suddenly took off in between the small spaces between piles of cars and knocked over cars.

"Bobby!" Dean and Sam followed him, trying to keep up, but Bobby seemed to know exactly where he was going. Suddenly, he stopped in shock, staring up in horror at something. Dean and Sam took a moment to get their breath back.

"What the hell, Bobby?" Dean glared, but Bobby didn't notice.

"My house…" Bobby finally said.

"What?" Sam looked at their surrogate father, confused.

"That was my house." He pointed up at what he had been staring at. The boys directed their gaze upwards.

The sign reading "Singer Salvage" was old looking. It was faded and corrupted, hanging upside down by a single chain, which was the only reason why it was still up. It had obviously not been taken care of, just like everything in the yard.

The Winchesters felt a chill go down their spines. Their home was gone and it looked like none of them had even tried to come back.

"What the hell happened?" Dean whispered.

"Is this…is this the future?" Sam asked quietly.

"What?" Dean looked over at his brother, being unable to think of any way to comfort Bobby over the loss of the home he had always had.

"Well," Sam frowned, glancing back at Dean, "he said that he was taking a leaf out of Zachariah's book, and didn't he send you to the future to try to convince you to do what he wanted?"

Dean blinked suddenly thrown back into that terrible version of 2014. He saw Sam with Lucifer in the driver's seat, a broken, human Cas, and his own coldhearted, dickish future self. That was a future that he had vowed he would never allow, but, as he looked at the abandoned salvage yard, he wondered if somehow the future had ended up being worse than that.

It was certainly different from what he could tell.

Bobby sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "Alright." He scratched his head a bit and moved on, something that Dean found to be amazing. "So, I guess we should head over to Jody's place."

"You think that's safe?" Sam asked, remembering the sorts of things that Gabriel had been up to in the past.

"Well, it's as good a place to start as any." Bobby gestured around, "Besides, do you see any working cars? If we're getting anywhere, it's on our own two feet."

The brothers looked around and Dean suppressed a groan.

At least when Zachariah dumped him in the future there were enough cars around for him to hotwire one.

* * *

By the time they reached town, Dean was thoroughly reminded of when he had come back from Hell. He was thirsty, his feet hurt, and he really did not want to walk any further. Going to Jody's was looking like a better idea every single second. When her house came in sight, he let out a sigh of relief.

The three of them walked up to the front door. Bobby had the honor of knocking. "Jody?" He knocked harder on the door. When there was still no answer, he turned away. "Must be at work," he reasoned.

There was a click behind him as the door unlocked. As they whirled back around, the door creaked open. A single eye appeared in the crack. "Who are you?" A young, female voice said.

"Uh, Bobby Singer?" Bobby raised an eyebrow.

The eye in the doorway narrowed. "I've never heard of you."

The three hunters looked at each other. How could this person have never heard of Sioux Falls' resident drunk?

Bobby turned back to the door. "Is Jody home?"

The eye looked behind them as they heard the sharp sound of a shotgun clacking. They whirled around and lifted their hands automatically.

"She certainly is." Jody looked down the barrel of the shotgun, which was aimed directly at them. Her eyes roamed over the three of them, suspicious. Dean saw Bobby blinking at her shorter hair, the new lines on her face, and the stance that any of them would recognize in a hunter. Dean knew that the two of them had gotten closer since Death had started raising zombies, so seeing her taking the same path as them probably hurt.

Jody's eyes moved momentarily as the person in the doorway opened the crack wider, revealing a young woman, still a teen probably, with long, dark hair and blue eyes. "Good job, Alex. Luckily, I hadn't left yet."

"Dean and Sam didn't look right so that's why I called. And I didn't recognize the old man," the young woman, Alex, waved her hand over at Bobby.

"Jody, don't you recognize me?" Bobby started to take a step forward, but Jody aimed right at him.

"Yes, I recognize you." Her voice was a bit hard, and with a glance over at Alex, Dean realized that this girl was under Jody's protection. "I also know that Bobby Singer's been dead for several years."

All three of them froze, and Dean felt his heart plummet. Bobby was dead, in this time.

_Just like in that twisted version of 2014._

Dean swallowed down his panic, but this was obviously not the same future that he had been to previously, so there was no reason for things to be as bad as they were there.

Also, apparently he and Sam don't "look right," so at least that must mean that the two of them are still themselves, just older, right? Right?

Bobby was the first to get over his shock, and as he went to say something, Jody beat him to it.

"The boys said that they salted and burned your body, but," her hand trembled a bit from where it was gripping the shotgun, "for all I know, zombies could come back from that. And I would really rather not have to deal with zombies again."

"Why?" Alex asked from the doorway.

Jody gave her a look that said that the two of them would talk later. Meanwhile, she gestured with the gun to indicate that they should move into the house. Alex moved aside and they entered the house, going over the rug in the doorway. They saw Jody glance down as they moved in.

"Not demons." She muttered, as she had them move to the living room. She looked over at Alex, who nodded and left the room, bringing back a silver knife and three glasses of water.

"Oh, come on, really?" Dean moaned.

"Better to be safe than sorry, that's what Bobby told me." Jody said, the shotgun still not coming down an inch.

Bobby looked at her, a slightly proud glint in his eye. "Well, you know the drill, boys." He agreed with her.

The Winchesters sighed, but allowed themselves to be nicked with the silver knife and drank the holy water. To their surprise, Alex then got up in their faces and studied them carefully.

"Not vampires." She declared, looking at Jody as she moved away.

"Definitely not demons, werewolves, or shifters." Jody agreed, and finally the shotgun came down. Jody didn't let go of it though. "So, what's going on then?"

The three of them looked at each other.

"What year is this?" Dean finally said.

Jody tilted her head at him a bit. "It's 2014. Why?"

Dean felt a sudden surge of panic race through him. It was 2014. _It was 2014!_ And sure, there didn't seem to be Croatoan victims running around, or Lucifer for that matter, but still. This wasn't something he wanted to see, even if it was different. He squashed it down though. He needed to focus right now, not wonder where everyone was (besides Bobby, who was apparently dead), and if they were alright.

"This may be hard to believe." Bobby was saying. "But we're from 2011."

"Ah," Jody said, nodding. "Not as hard to believe. I helped Sam and Dean with a case that involved time travel before."

"Really?" The three hunters and Alex asked, staring at her.

She gave a nonchalant shrug. "Dean got sent to the 1940's by the god of time, Chronos. Sam asked me to bring a bunch of stuff from Bobby's storage to see if we could find an answer since…" Her gaze moved over to Bobby and there was a definite hint of sadness there.

"I see." Bobby said, seeming to be perfectly at ease with the fact that within three years, he would be dead. Then again, as a hunter, he had accepted that he could die at any time when he chose this path.

"So, you believe us?" Sam asked, tentative.

"For now," she responded, but she pulled out her cell phone. "Let me make a few calls." Jody handed the shotgun to Alex. "If they do anything untoward to you, shoot them." Alex nodded as Jody stepped out of the room and shut the door behind her.

There was an awkward silence as Alex stared at them.

"So, who are you then?" Bobby once more took the lead.

"I'm Alex." She finally introduced herself, settling down in a nearby chair. "I was kidnapped and raised by vampires. Jody saved me with some help from Sam and Dean." There was obviously more to that story, but they were really not going to pry it from her. "Since I don't have any other family, Jody said I could live with her if I wanted."

"So Jody's a hunter?" Bobby asked to confirm it.

"Yeah." Alex nodded. "She keeps an ear on the police scanner for any weird cases. Jody says she's not very good, still a novice, but…" A slight smile crossed her face. "She seems pretty good to me."

"I see." Bobby sat back, a hint of sadness now in his eyes. Dean understood the feeling. Yet another friend had been dragged into this world where most people don't end up living long. It was another friend whose life would probably end bloody.

Jody sighed as she came back into the room. "I couldn't reach Sam." She told more to Alex than the three hunters. "But I managed to get a hold of that person, so with his abilities, he should be able to verify that it's them."

"Really?" Alex's face lit up a bit. "I like that guy. He's funny."

"Don't make fun of him just because he's a bit…different." Jody scolded a bit. She turned back to Bobby, Sam, and Dean. "I have to go in, but Alex here will make sure you don't do anything too stupid. Stay here. I'll be back in the afternoon which is when our friend will arrive." She gave them a stern look. "Try anything and Alex _will_ shoot you."

Jody and Alex exchanged a hug. "Be a good girl." She patted her a bit on the head as she walked back through the door.

Alex went back to staring at the three hunters in the living room. The silence was once again uncomfortable.

"Like video games?" Alex finally asked.

* * *

Dean couldn't help but wonder who Jody's friend must be. It must be someone that he and Sam knew, because they wouldn't let someone shady hang around Jody, Bobby's friend. Something else was bothering him though, even as he trounced Alex on what must be this timeline's latest MarioKart game.

Jody had only mentioned Sam and Bobby. Bobby was dead, and Sam was obviously busy, but why hadn't she mentioned Dean? Instead of calling Dean when Sam was unavailable, she instead called this mysterious friend.

So, where was Dean in all of this?

Jody came home shortly after noon, saying that her friend was close so she was going to make some lunch for all of them. She started making burgers within the kitchen, and Dean was almost drooling over the smell.

Then, he heard the sound of a car pulling up outside and parking. He glanced away from the screen as Sam struggled to not swear at Alex and Bobby chuckled from where he sat.

Alex heard it too as the sound of a car door opening and shutting reached their ears. "Good, he's here." She turned her face back towards the screen to prevent Sam from sneaking up behind her to win. "I'm hungry."

"Yeah, yeah." Jody said as she walked passed them all into the hallway. They heard a knock on the door before Jody apparently opened it.

The race was quickly finished and Alex headed to the kitchen while the three hunters stood up and faced the door. They could hear Jody's and another low voice out in the hall. They glanced nervously at each other, not knowing who they were about to meet.

Heavy footsteps came down the hallway, indicating that the person was probably male. Dean braced himself, ready for anything.

It turned out that he wasn't as ready as he thought as Castiel appeared in the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I really like Jody. She's got sass and brains, and really what more could someone want? I like the idea of her and Castiel getting to know each other. Jody's kind of like Bobby in that she takes in strays and takes them under her wing like she did Alex. Can you just see her mothering Cas? Hilarious, right? Anyway, by starting out at Bobby's house, it really gives a feel of how much things have changed on the show, and I wanted to make that clear right away. Also, writing Alex is hard because there's so little to go off of. Ugh.


	3. 2014!Castiel

Of all of the people to step through that door, Cas was the last person Dean expected.

He had thought that it would be another hunter, maybe someone that he and Sam knew, or someone on Bobby's call list.

After all, things just weren't adding up.

Cas had driven here _in a car_. He had knocked on the door and then walked down the hallway to meet them. Castiel was an angel. He always just popped up wherever he needed to be. It was one of the things about him that annoyed Dean to no end.

Then there was the way Castiel looked. He was wearing a different trench coat for starters. It was a different shade of tan and different style and it looked weird on a person that, as far as Dean knew, had never even thought about changing his clothes in all of the time he had known him. His crooked, backwards tie was also missing, and instead the top buttons of his dress shirt were undone. Dean had to admit it gave the angel a more relaxed air and made him look good, but again, it was just weird to see that his clothes had changed.

If that had been the only change, then Dean would have been fine with it. However, as it was, Castiel was just…different. His shoulders were slumped as if they held the weight of the world. He looked thinner, as if he had missed a few meals, and Jimmy hadn't had much meat on his bones in the first place. There were circles under his eyes and he looked exhausted, while giving off the same feeling that sick people had. Cas's eyes, while still having the spark that was purely Cas, were a bit duller, more sad, tired, and overall it looked like something was haunting him. It was a huge contrast to the Castiel that Dean knew, and he didn't like it.

Because something had obviously broken Cas. Maybe it was a different kind of broken than the one Dean had met the last time he took a trip to the future, since he didn't smell like drugs and sex, but something had definitely broken the angel to make him look so…human.

While Dean was thinking this, Cas had been studying the three of them, his head tilted the way it always did. A small smile crossed his face. He turned to Jody who stood behind him, "They are who they claimed to be, and really have traveled from past."

"Good." Jody sighed and walked over to the kitchen. "Alex, put away the shotgun."

"Alright."

That left Castiel standing across from the three hunters. It was slightly awkward for the three of them as they had just been planning on sticking the angel in a ring of holy fire. His next actions left them shocked though.

Cas walked over and brought Bobby into a hug. "It is good to see you alive, Bobby." He said quietly as he held the old hunter close.

Bobby blinked, a bit shocked. The Winchester boys had always been closer to the angel, so it was a surprise that Cas had missed him so much. "I guess it would be." He ended up replying, giving the angel a pat on the back.

"Yes." The angel drew back, that small smile still on his face. Then he proceeded to hug Sam, who looked more shocked than Bobby had been, and finally Dean. He held on a bit longer to Dean than he had with the other two, which made Dean feel a bit awkward as he gave him a short pat on the back and wondered when exactly the angel had become comfortable with such physical contact. As much as the angel seemed to enjoy getting into Dean's personal space, he'd never really been one for actually touching.

"So what year are you from?" Cas asked as he got done with his round of hugs.

"2011." Dean said, noticing a flash of sadness and guilt cross Cas's eyes as he revealed their origin.

Castiel looked down. "I see." He avoided their eyes. "Have you found out about – "

"Crowley?" Dean felt the same anger, that had taken him before Gabriel's arrival, come back. "Yeah, we were just thinking about asking you about that."

Cas looked back at Dean, meeting his eyes. "By trapping me in a ring of holy fire." It wasn't a question. His tone was a bit flatter, the way it always went when Castiel was trying to hide how hurt he was by something Dean did.

"Is that what we did to you?" Bobby asked, giving the angel a sideways glance.

Cas's gaze turned to him. "Yes." He didn't give any more than that.

"You and Crowley really are working together?" Dean asked angrily. Something in what he said seemed to snap at something inside Cas.

"That was years ago." His voice came out as a growl. "Besides, he's now _your_ best friend, so you really cannot lecture me, Dean."

The three of them stared at him in shock. Castiel deflated, as he seemed to realize that he had said too much.

"What – " Sam began to ask.

"Burgers are on the table." Jody interrupted. "And no talking shop at the table, boys."

A smile twitched at Castiel's lips. "Of course, Jody." He led the way into the dining room, and sat down at the table. To Dean's surprise, and probably also Sam's and Bobby's, he served himself a burger and began to eat along with Alex. It looked like he had forgotten the tension of just moments before.

They gave each other a glance, before sitting down and joining them.

Still, the thought struck Dean as he watched Alex tell Cas about what she had been up to and he saw him smile once more. It even overpowered the weird thought of him being friends with Crowley.

_Could Cas be human?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I originally had this and the next chapter as one big long thing. Then I realized it was way too long. So this is just a bit of a transition chapter that really shows how Cas has changed just by looking at him. And Dean would totally notice. This is where those Destiel hints start to pop up. The reason why this is being updated so quickly is because I've got it all written and am just doing the final editing on things. There may still be some errors though, but I can live with that.


	4. How the Mighty Fall

The late lunch actually turned out to be enjoyable, despite the circumstances. Afterwards though, Dean knew that they were going to have to talk. Alex left, saying she had better things to do, and Jody had to go back to the station, asking Cas if they would stick around for supper. Cas told her that they would probably leave before then, so it made Dean wonder what Cas was planning. Jody only nodded and told Cas where to find the key so he could lock the door behind them.

"Take care of yourself." Jody told him as she walked out the door, though she looked a bit sad as she looked at the angel.

Pretty soon, it was just Cas, Bobby, and the Winchesters in the living room. Cas sat down and turned to them. "Who sent you here? I can't think of any angels who would send you into the future at that point in time." He seemed a bit confused over the thought.

Dean noticed that he was carefully stepping over what he said earlier about Dean and Crowley being friends.

"It was Gabriel." Sam said, and again, Dean noticed that Sam seemed excited at the thought of the archangel being alive… Nah, he was probably just imagining it.

Happiness lit up Cas's eyes. "So he is alive?" His voice was quiet, but full of hope.

They blinked.

"Well, yeah." Bobby said. "Wouldn't you have known?"

"No, if you haven't noticed, Gabriel excels at keeping a low profile. Though," he fidgeted a bit, "there was an incident that made me think he could be alive. I didn't know whether it was all just a trick though." His face darkened a bit. "After all, Metatron is a very talented liar."

"Metatron?" Sam asked. "Like the transformer?"

"That's Megatron." Dean told him.

"What?"

"The transformer, that's Megatron." Dean shook his head at his brother's lack of knowledge.

"Metatron." A smile seemed to be tugging at Cas's lips. "He was once the Scribe of God. He basically wrote Sparknotes of God's Word to assist humans should they be needed."

"You know what Sparknotes are, feathers?" Bobby raised an eyebrow.

Cas looked at him confused. "Yes." His brow furrowed a bit. "Why would I mention something if I didn't know what it was?"

"So, what did Metatron do to you? Why would he trick you?" Dean asked, curious about what had been going on.

"It does not really matter." Cas replied, though his expression said that it did matter. "Though you should know that he cast all of the angels out of Heaven. Everyone lost their wings." He looked down at their shocked expressions. "After tricking me and stealing my Grace to do so."

Dean froze. If this angel had stolen Cas's Grace then…

"Cas, are you human?" He asked, because he could not go there. Not back to that place where Cas was human and drowning in pain and…

"No." Cas said after a short pause. "I am not human, Dean." His eyes were so humanlike though. Castiel's emotions had always shone through his eyes, but now they did so even more. It showed so much pain.

"So, we kicked this angel's ass and got it back? Good." Dean said decisively.

Cas pursed his lips. "No."

Now all three of them looked at him, confused. "Then how…" Bobby began to ask.

Cas held up a hand. "It is not of import." He paused and lowered his hand. "Though I will tell you that Metatron is now locked in Heaven's prison, so he will not harm you again."

"Again?" Dean asked.

Castiel looked Dean, and again he saw that huge amount of pain. Cas bit his lip and looked at each of them in turn. "I will let you know some things now before we leave." He said quietly.

They leaned forward.

"Before Metatron was apprehended, he," Cas paused and for a moment, it looked like the angel was going to cry, "killed Dean."

The three of them looked at the angel.

"So I'm dead?" Dean asked in order to confirm it, because it looked like Cas wasn't really going to move the conversation forward.

"Maybe." It looked like Cas hadn't really changed. He was still as vague as ever.

"What do you mean 'maybe?'" Sam's forehead was wrinkled as he tried to puzzle out Cas's words.

Cas sighed and rubbed his eyes. It was a very human gesture. "His body disappeared." The hunters looked at each other. That was never a good sign. "And there was a note."

"What'd it say?" Bobby was in research mode.

Castiel looked Dean right in the eye. "Sammy, let me go."

That caused all of them to pause. The Sammy part certainly sounded like Dean.

"Sam believes that Crowley may have taken him. Why or where is unknown." Cas snorted. "Crowley and Dean have become closer since Dean took on the Mark. Before his death, Sam said that the two were 'bromancing' all over the place." He used finger quotes at the word bromancing. "Of course, Sam still believes that Dean went unwillingly, which wouldn't explain the note."

The three of them continued to stare at the angel. There were so many things wrong with that statement that none of them really knew where to begin. Or at least, Dean didn't know where to start.

"What Mark?" Bobby seemed to be holding down panic at the thought of Dean doing something stupid that he couldn't control.

Cas looked upset, but he was trying to hide it. Dean could see it in his eyes though. "The Mark of Cain."

That brought all of them up short. Everyone had heard of the Mark of Cain. None of them would have thought that it still existed.

"How did he get that?" Bobby growled.

Cas seemed to pause, perhaps realizing that he would have to explain more. A dark shadow crossed over his face before he sighed. "Abbadon, a Knight of Hell, was loose. According to Crowley, the only way to defeat a Knight of Hell is with the First Blade, which Cain made to kill his brother Abel." He looked disappointed suddenly. "There could have been another way, but after Dean found out about this, he didn't look for another way.

"Dean and Crowley tracked down Cain to learn about where the Blade was. Cain told them the real story about what happened and told them that the Blade could only be wielded by one who bore his Mark." Cas looked down at his hands. "Dean proved himself worthy, and accepted the Mark. Ultimately, with the Mark and the Blade, he did defeat Abbadon, but…" His voice trailed off.

"But what?" Dean finally asked, swallowing down a lump in his throat. This story was too similar to what was happening to them right now. Only instead of Castiel working with Crowley, it seemed that Dean was the star of this show.

Cas hesitated. "It was changing him." He finally said. "He was…angrier, more violent. Not much was required to provoke Dean, and he would continue beating his opponent long after it was necessary. It was…" His voice trailed off again. "Frightening to see Dean like that."

"That bad, huh?" Bobby said.

Castiel looked back up at them. "Dean nearly killed someone who came to offer help. The only reason he didn't was because Sam and I restrained him."

They took a second to process that. The whole thing sounded terrible to Dean. How could he have been so stupid to mess with something from the Father of Murder of all things? How could he let things get so bad? And looking at Cas, he knew that they were only getting the tip of the ice burg. Castiel had made no mention of himself. Of why he looked so run down, of why he was by himself, of what had happened to him.

"Those are the most important things to know." Castiel stood up, indicating that the conversation was over. "Sam didn't answer Jody's call because he had a potential lead on a demon. It's the first bit of demon activity we have heard of since Dean disappeared, so he probably went to check it out."

"Why didn't you go with him?" Dean couldn't help but ask as they headed to the door.

"After telling me about it, he said it was probably nothing and…" Castiel looked down, his back turned towards them as he opened the front door and gestured for them to follow. "He was probably lying. Sam doesn't want my help."

_Why wouldn't Sam want Castiel's help?_ Dean wondered, sharing a glance with his companions as they wondered about it, too. They stood there as Cas locked Jody's front door.

"Still, the Bunker is as good a place as any to take you. Sam will eventually return and we can easily regroup there." Castiel pulled out a set of car keys as he headed for the Lincoln Continental sitting in front of the house.

Dean couldn't help but stare at it. "What the hell is this?" His voice sounded like a mix of surprise and disgust even to his own ears.

"My car." Castiel said as he unlocked it, leaving it up to the three to decide who would get shotgun.

"What are you, some kind of pimp?" It was the sort of car that one of them would drive.

"I like it." Cas's tone reminded Dean of when people would try to badmouth the Impala in front of him. "And you know," Cas added as he got in, "that's exactly what Crowley said when he saw it."

Dean snorted as he claimed the shotgun seat as his own, with Bobby and Sam sliding into the back. "Do you even know how to drive?"

"Obviously." Cas replied dryly as he started the engine and started to drive. The radio came on, playing some modern rock and roll music that wasn't even _real_ rock and roll.

"Why are you listening to this crap?" Dean went to change the station only to receive a sharp slap from Cas. "Ow! Hey!"

"Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole." Castiel quoted, not even trying to hide his faint smile. Bobby snorted and Sam was literally giggling in the backseat.

"Dammit." Dean muttered, wishing he had never taught Cas that.

Still, as they pulled onto the highway, Cas changed it to classic rock.

* * *

They drove for several hours until Castiel pulled up to a motel. "We'll spend the night here." He said as he went around to the trunk and popped it open. He grabbed a duffel bag and swung it over his shoulder as he headed to reception. "Wait here." He ordered.

The three of them waited in the car as Castiel obviously got a room. It didn't take long before he was back out.

"I managed to get a double room with an additional cot, but you all will have to decide who's sleeping with who." Cas led them to the room, and opened the door with the key.

"Why would we need to decide that?" Dean asked as he looked around the motel room. It was similar to the kind that he and Sam had stayed in many times before.

Castiel didn't answer him, but the reason was obvious as Cas slipped off his shoes, dropped the duffel bag next to them, and shrugged out of his trench coat. He practically collapsed onto the bed closest to the door and pulled the trench coat up over him like a blanket. Within moments, the trio could hear soft snores coming from the angel as he fell asleep.

The three of them looked at each other.

Something was seriously wrong here. The car and walking had been explained, but it was more than that. Angels didn't eat and they certainly didn't sleep. Something was wrong with Cas, and it probably had to do with how he was an angel, but didn't have his grace.

Still, this was the perfect time for them to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So now Dean and the others have a bit of an idea of what's going on. I've tried to incorporate some of Cas's new pop culture knowledge, but I haven't really done it well because it doesn't really fit (either here or elsewhere). Oh, well. Next time, our favorite hunters will start to figure out what they're meant to be learning.


	5. A Late Night Conversation

"So what do you guys think?" Dean sat at the motel's rickety table and looked over at them.

Bobby scratched his head and pulled his cap down a bit more. "I gotta admit. I really don't like how things are turning out here."

"You think?" Sam asked. "Dean, this whole business that Cas was talking about with Crowley… It sounds exactly like what's going on with our Cas! Why would you trust him?"

"I don't!" Dean hissed. "Besides, how do we even know that this Cas is telling the truth? If he can lie about Crowley in our time, who knows how much of a better liar he's become?"

Bobby on the other hand had a thoughtful look on his face. "Did he ever really lie?"

The two Winchesters stared at him. "What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"Well, if memory serves me correctly," Bobby pointed out, "most of the time he just seemed to avoid questions or skirted around the truth. Has he actually told any outright lies?"

Dean thought about it a moment, and he knew Sam was doing the same. Actually, Cas hadn't seemed to tell any outright lies except…

"Son of a bitch." He muttered. The other two looked at him. "Remember after he and Balthazar re-sunk the Titanic and we said that Balthazar had prevented it from sinking just because he hated the song and Cas…"

"Very obviously was lying about it." Sam finished. Apparently, he too remembered Cas avoiding their gaze, shuffling his feet, and sounding unsure as he confirmed what they had assumed.

He was a terrible liar. He was probably just as bad as when Dean had first tried to get him to do it when going after Raphael.

Holy Crap. Dean was the one who taught Cas to lie in the first place.

"Right. So, I don't think the Cas over there is lying." Bobby nodded in the direction of the sleeping Castiel.

The three of them looked over at him. His forehead was still a bit wrinkled, even in sleep, but he still seemed a lot more peaceful than he had awake.

"Then things are really going down the crapper, huh?" Dean mused.

Things here weren't as bad here as the other future he had seen, but they were still bad. After all, at least Lucifer wasn't up and about, partying as the Apocalypse was in full swing. On the other hand, Bobby was dead and had been for years. He was missing after apparently messing with some big, bad supernatural mark and dying. Sam was probably working himself to death trying to find him and for some reason, he didn't want Cas's help. And Cas…

This Cas was not a druggie. He wasn't looking for the next hit, next bottle of alcohol, or the next orgy to throw himself into. He wasn't hopeless, hapless, or looking for a way to end it all. He wasn't human, but there was obviously something off. He ate without being prodded. He was sleeping. He looked so tired. Even without having his wings that probably wasn't normal.

Bobby and Sam were also silent next to him, and Dean wondered where their thoughts were taking them. He knew it probably wasn't where his were going, because he had never fully explained that experience to them. All they knew was that it had been bad. He hadn't really wanted to talk about it any further than that.

Still, this was one issue that they should address.

"Putting whatever future me has done aside," Bobby and Sam looked at him, "what do you think is wrong with Cas?"

They all went back to looking at the angel.

"I don't know." Sam finally admitted. "Obviously something is wrong, but he doesn't want to tell us."

"More like, he doesn't seem to think that it's as important when we've got a bigger problem on our hands. What with us being sent to the future and all?" Bobby concluded, his expression saying that he wished that he had some hunter's helper.

"What? So his problems don't matter?" Dean was a bit angry with Cas for thinking something like that.

Both Sam and Bobby looked at him in surprise. "What?" He asked, slightly indignant at their expressions.

They shared a glance with each other. "Dean." Sam finally said. "You always act like our problems are more important than Cas's."

"What? No, I don't." Dean ignored the little voice in the back of his head that was agreeing with Sam.

"Yeah, you do, boy." Bobby confirmed. "Why just recently with your trip to the past, the moment you came back you started grousing about how Cas had to send you back when he was obviously too exhausted to do it."

"And I've kind of noticed it, too." Sam's face suddenly. His voice grew quiet. "We do kind of treat him like a tool, don't we?"

The silence was contemplative and almost sad.

Dean gazed over at Castiel. He thought about what Gabriel had said. It couldn't be true. After all, Dean had helped Cas loads of time. He had also almost died for him before. It was all right for him to ask for Cas's help because of that.

_But you've never actually died. Cas has died for you._ That annoying voice at the back of his head tried to pipe up again, Dean shoved it down. This was probably all just another of Gabriel's tricks. He glanced at his two companions, but they had obviously been taken in. Well, he wouldn't fall for it.

"We should get some sleep for now." Bobby decided, breaking the silence. He moved over to the cot that Cas had so graciously gotten and set it up. It probably was as good as the one in the old panic room, but Dean wasn't going to sleep on it so it wasn't his problem.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, "what do you think this Bunker place is anyway? I mean, it almost sounds like we have an actual place." He moved over and kicked off his shoes by the unoccupied bed.

"Nah," Dean said, stretching as he stood from the chair. "We really aren't the type to settle down, even if it doesn't have a weird title sounding name." He paused as he gazed at where people were situated. "Hey."

Sam chuckled a bit as he took some of his layers off and lay down. "Night, Dean."

Dean turned to Bobby.

"Night, Dean, Sam." Bobby had already gotten comfortable on the cot.

Which left…

"Dammit." Dean cursed as he realized that the only spot left to sleep was either on the other half of Cas's bed or the floor. After all, there was no way he was getting in bed with Sammy the Octopus.

He looked over at Cas, who hadn't moved an inch since laying down, except for snuggling deeper into his pillow. Dean carefully took his shoes off and slipped onto the other side of the bed, getting under the covers. He settled back to sleep.

"If I hear a word about this, I'm killing both of you." He threatened.

Dean ignored their chuckles as he rolled over and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Due to the way the show is written, this is probably the only way that Dean and Cas would ever sleep together.


	6. Big Sister Hannah

There is often that time, between awake and asleep, when just about anything could happen because you can't tell whether you're still dreaming. So when Dean became aware that he was holding something warm and slightly soft, he assumed that he was just dreaming about the afterglow of some wonderful sex. Naturally, when that something tried to wiggle away, he held on tighter because it felt right to hold this person and he was content exactly where he was.

Then he realized someone was speaking with him.

"Dean, you need to let me go." The voice was slightly familiar and lower than what he had expected. But, hey, in dreams anything goes. "Dean. Dean. Dean." The owner of the voice continued trying to escape his grasp until it finally stopped. Dean started to fall back asleep, content that his partner wouldn't be leaving until he heard a familiar clicking noise and the voice said, "Sam is taking pictures, Dean."

Immediately, Dean shot up in bed, knowing that he couldn't let Sam get evidence of whatever was going on. There Sam stood, giggling like the girl he actually was and even Bobby, where he was putting away the cot, seemed to be hiding a smile. For a second, Dean couldn't figure out what they thought was funny. Then memories flooded him and he could feel a blush starting to creep up his neck as he turned to Cas who had rolled over out of the bed the moment Dean had let go of him.

_You were cuddling Cas!_ His thoughts screamed at him. _Gay!_

"Uh, sorry about that, Cas." Dean rubbed the back of his neck, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"It's perfectly alright, Dean." Cas was pulling his trenchcoat back on, and then he kneeled down to put his shoes back on. "I will admit that I did enjoy it, as I have not slept with anyone since April."

Dean got up out of the bed and slipped his shoes on. "April?" He asked, since he had never heard of anyone by that name.

"Yes." Cas straightened up. "Of course, that was before she tortured and killed me." He grabbed his duffel off of the floor.

He said it so matter-of-factly that the three humans in the room couldn't help but stare at him. It was like the fact that he had apparently been tortured and killed didn't matter, that it was no big deal.

Dean felt a slight stirring of what must surely be anger in his gut. _How dare that bitch!_ He couldn't stop the thought. Then, he paused and frowned. "Why did you sleep with her in the first place?"

Castiel looked over at him and tilted his head a bit, a confused expression crossing his face. "Isn't that what one normally does with their partner after intercourse?"

If Dean had been drinking something, he was sure that he would be spitting it out. As it was, it felt like the bottom of his stomach had dropped to the floor. Glancing at Bobby and Sam, he could see that they were just as shocked.

This Cas wasn't a virgin anymore.

Maybe this future was a bit more like the other one than he had first thought.

Castiel was still looking at him, so Dean cleared his throat and choked out a "Yeah, I guess."

Cas nodded and moved on. "There is a diner down the road where you can get breakfast, and since Sam still hasn't contacted me, we will then continue to the – "

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Bobby, Sam, and Dean all look at it suspiciously, but Castiel just walks over, not seeming to be too worried at who might be on the other side, and opened it.

A woman stood there in a sweater and suit jacket, and just by the way she stood, Dean knew that this had to be another angel.

"Castiel," she smiled at the sight of him.

"Hannah." He replied, a slight smile tugging at his lips.

"I – " She began to say something, but frowned in puzzlement at the sight of the three hunters. "They're not from now." She glanced at Cas. "What's going on?"

* * *

They ended up all sitting in the diner around a table. This time Cas didn't eat, but Dean and the other two happily indulged in breakfast. Cas quickly explained to this new angel what had happened, but Dean was more surprised at the news she brought.

"Angels? Governing themselves? Weird." Dean commented. It sounded kind of like what Cas had said he would try to do after going back upstairs, but he never thought that it would really happen.

Cas seemed to send a variation of one of Sam's bitch faces at him. He seemed to be slightly fond of this angel, so Dean decided to try to reign in his behavior a bit. There was something he didn't like about her though.

"Mostly. There's a lot of meetings on rebuilding and reorganization – also reconciliation." Hannah took his question seriously.

"And Metatron?" Cas seemed a bit anxious to confirm the angel's fate. Given what Cas had told them, Dean couldn't blame him.

"Still in jail. He should be staying there permanently." She paused there, focusing her attention on Castiel. Actually, for the most part she had been ignoring the three time travelers and would only pay them mind when she was spoken to. "I would've thought we'd see you sooner."

It took Dean a moment to realize what she meant by that. Then, he was slightly confused. _Why wouldn't Cas be staying in Heaven?_

Castiel looked a bit guilty. "I would've come sooner but – "

"I'm glad you didn't." Hannah continued. "You see, I…I need your help. Heaven needs your help."

Castiel looked at her for a long moment, his eyes flicking over to the humans in his charge. "Hannah, due to the circumstances, I don't know how much I can help. I need to take Bobby and the Winchesters to a safe location until we can figure out how to send them back."

Hannah looked over at them once more, though Dean could see that there was something in her gaze that spoke of disapproval. It wasn't the first time an angel had looked at them like that, but this seemed different.

"I see." Hannah said, her eyes returning to Cas. "So you still choose him?" She seemed to be referencing an incident that Cas had not told them about.

Cas grimaced a bit. "Hannah, I am willing to help you, but I need to keep them safe."

"Very well." Hannah reluctantly agreed. "Then I shall accompany you until they are somewhere safe so we can leave directly."

Cas thought about it for a moment, and then nodded his head. "Alright." He turned to his charges. "Is this acceptable to you?"

The humans looked at each other. "Sure, why not? It's always fun to have another angel along for the ride." Dean sarcastically said.

Hannah's eyes narrowed a bit. "So you were always this disrespectful?"

Dean narrowed his eyes right back at her. "What do you – "

"Alright." Castiel quickly intervened. "If you could all go to the car, I will settle the bill." He stood up and walked over to the register with the check the waitress had surreptitiously left at their table.

They all watched him go. Once he was relatively out of earshot, as much as one can be when they're really a celestial being, Hannah turned back to the three humans.

"I cannot judge you, Bobby Singer." She tilted her head slightly in his direction. "But I can judge you, Winchesters." Her gaze was hard. "I know how much Castiel has lost for you, probably more than I even know. I think you are a bad influence on him, but he won't hear a word against you." She leaned in a bit. "Hurt him and you will feel the consequences. He doesn't need this on top of everything else." With those lovely parting words, she stood up and walked out of the diner towards the car.

They stared after her.

"Wow, protective big sister." Sam muttered.

"Never seen an angel be so protective of him before." Bobby commented.

Dean continued to stare after her, and couldn't help but think that that was true. Cas was always getting beaten up, tortured, killed, or ignored by his brothers and sisters. It was almost weird to see an angel besides Castiel care about another being.

"Maybe it's the influence of walking around with humans." Dean mused. The others shrugged, and got up as Cas headed for the door. He looked over at them, confused at why they hadn't left yet.

Still, as Dean swore at the fact that Hannah had stolen the shotgun seat, he wondered if there was a reason for Hannah to be concerned. It probably had to do with what Cas was hiding from them.

Now, he just had to figure out what that was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So now we're really getting into the beginning of Season 10. From this point on, you'll see familiar dialogue from the show with Dean and the others finding out what's really going on. I must admit, I have mixed feelings about Hannah. As Cas's friend and big sister, I love her (spoiler: until episode 6 of this season, when she leaves Castiel all alone that is). However, I don't really see her as a love interest for Castiel. For those of you who ship them, that's fine. I'll actually be addressing her slight crush later in the fic. Still, it seems too... forced if you will. So here at least, she's just someone who actually cares about Cas.


	7. Fading Grace

Dean found out when they had to pull over, not only to get gas but because angels can apparently get nauseous.

"I didn't know angels could get nauseous." Cas pointed out, as surprised as the rest of them as he stepped out of the car and walked over to the pump.

"I just need a moment." Hannah stepped out too, her face still tinged slightly green. Maybe it had been a good thing that she had stolen the front seat.

The others also took a moment to stretch. Sam actually decided to run to the bathroom at the station to answer the call of the wild. Bobby decided to get some snacks, or more likely beer. Meanwhile, Cas and Hannah continued to talk. Dean tried to make it look like he wasn't eavesdropping from where he was leaning against the bumper of the car.

"It's my fault. I'll take the curves faster." Castiel easily got everything set and started pumping gas into his Pimpmobile. It was odd for Dean to see him doing such mundane tasks.

"And you, Castiel? You're feeling well?"

Dean felt his ears perk up a bit despite himself. This was what he really needed to know.

Cas turned around and faced Hannah from the other side of the car. "Oh, yes. Like a million dollars."

Cas used similes and metaphors now? What the hell?

Hannah tilted her head a bit in confusion. Dean wondered if that was an angel thing. "That's not true."

Castiel leaned against the car and folded his hands. "It's my truth."

Hannah pursed her lips, clearly not believing him. "When you left Heaven, your borrowed Grace was failing." _His what?_ That did not sound good. Hannah took a moment to study Cas, seeing more than what was on the surface. "By the looks of you, you've only gotten worse."

This did not sound good at all. Dean thought back to what Cas had said. He was an angel, but he hadn't gotten his Grace back. So, he must have gotten someone else's. Still, what did she mean failing?

"I'm fine." That was a Winchester response if Dean had ever heard one.

"You're dying, Castiel. You need more Grace." Hannah almost seemed to be pleading.

Dean's heart froze. Cas was dying? _Cas was dying?!_ He put a hand behind him to grip the car and stop himself from falling over.

It seemed like this place really wasn't very different. Cas was still dying. That at least hadn't changed. And he was more human, hurt, and broken than the Cas they had left behind, even with the whole working with Crowley thing.

How could the him of this time let things get so bad?

"There are more important things going on right now, and they supersede my own needs." Castiel seemed to relent a bit. "You're a good soldier, Hannah… and one of the best. Metatron certainly could not have been brought to heel without your bravery."

Dean blinked. Was that Cas's attempt at complimenting someone? At least he still sucked at interacting with other people.

"Or yours." Hannah replied. "You must take care of yourself, Castiel."

"And another angel should die so that I can be saved?!" Castiel snapped at her, clearly fed up with this conversation. "Is this really that hard to understand?"

Hannah flinched a bit, and Cas seemed to realize he had gone a bit too far.

"Hannah." He reached out, but Hannah pursed her lips and walked towards the restroom.

"I just need to freshen up a bit." She said quickly. She seemed to forget that angels don't need to freshen up.

Cas sighed and ran a hand down his face. "I know you were listening, Dean." He said quietly.

Dean jumped a bit and turned toward him. "What?" He tried to infuse some innocence into his voice, but the revelations he had heard made him incapable of it.

Castiel gave him a look. It was similar to one of Sam's bitch faces that said, "Do you think I'm an idiot?" without him needing to say anything at all.

Dean's shoulders slumped and he sighed. "Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"I really am fine." Cas said as he turned back to the pump. "It's not your problem anyway."

"Yes, it is." He walked over and caught Cas's gaze. "You're dying." He pointed an accusing finger at him. "And you weren't even going to tell us, huh?"

Cas glared at him. "This isn't your time. Dean and Sam both know about this. Besides," he turned away from him, which surprised Dean. He couldn't remember a time when Castiel had been the one to break their staredowns. "There isn't anything to be done."

"But Hannah said – "

"I am not," Cas turned back and got right into Dean's face, "going to sacrifice someone else just so I can live." He stepped back and put the pump back as the car was done filling up. "I don't deserve it." Cas finished quietly. He walked into the store in order to pay for the gas and whatever Bobby had picked up.

Dean stared after him, shocked. And that's when he realized:

Cas didn't care if he lived or died. He didn't think that he deserved to be saved.

Things were worse than Dean had thought.

* * *

Unfortunately, Dean didn't get a chance to confront his friend further on this.

When they had finally left the gas station, Cas had said it was only a few hours more until they got to the Bunker (which seemed kind of important, but Dean didn't particularly care.). However, they had to take a detour when Cas got a call.

He quickly pulled over. "It's Sam." Cas offered as an explanation as he got out of the car to have a bit more privacy.

The moment he was gone, Dean turned to Hannah. "Tell me more about this Grace business."

Sam and Bobby blinked at him, having no idea what he was talking about as he hadn't had a minute alone to explain what was up.

Hannah turned and frowned at him. "He didn't tell you?"

"When we asked about how he was an angel if his Grace was stolen, he said it wasn't important." Dean gruffly explained to her.

Worry lines appeared on her forehead. "He would say that, wouldn't he?" She mused. "I guess you heard our earlier conversation.

"Woah, what do you mean 'Grace business?'" Sam asked.

Hannah's eyes saddened. "As he seems to have told you, his Grace was stolen." She looked down. "I don't know the exact circumstances, though I'm sure it had something to do with you," she threw a slight glare at Dean, "but at some point, he found that he could not stay human."

They all exchanged a glance at that. "Cas? Human?" Bobby asked, incredulous.

Hannah looked at him, confused. "If you take away an angel's Grace, they become human." She explained. "Whether this means that they are reborn or remain in the vessel that they already have depends."

"So Cas was human." Dean couldn't help but feel a shudder run down his back. He had seen what Cas had been like as a human. It seems that that wasn't how things turned out in this future, since he had only slept with someone once, but still.

"Indeed." Hannah continued her story. "In any case, he felt the need to become an angel once more. It probably was also to fight against Metatron in the end." She pursed her lips. "In any case, he took another angel's Grace and absorbed it. He became an angel again."

Her eyes looked out the window and followed Cas, who was now pacing and shaking his head at something that Sam was saying. The next part came quietly. "An angel's Grace belongs to each individual angel. It's not meant to be used by any other than the angel it was created for. Grace knows this. That's why…" Her voice trailed off and she looked away.

"Why what?" Bobby finally asked, the silence stifling.

"It's finite." She simply looked straight ahead. "It doesn't work as well and it eventually runs out." Her voice grew even quieter and the hunters had to lean forward to hear her final words. "And when the Grace burns out, it takes the angel that had dared to absorb it with it."

It took a moment for that to sink in. Dean felt his heart sink.

Castiel was really dying, and there was nothing he could do about. Not only that, but from the sound of it, the Big Man wouldn't be bringing him back this time.

"But you were saying that if he had more Grace, he could live?" Dean tried to not sound as hopeful as he knew he sounded.

Hannah pursed her lips and looked at him. "At most, it would be a temporary solution. If he took another angel's Grace, it would buy him some time, but it would eventually run out again, and…"

"He's back in square one." Sam finished, sadness filling his stupid, puppy-dog eyes.

The hunters fell silent at that news. Even though they were angry that Cas was obviously working with Crowley, none of them really wanted the angel to die. And if working with Crowley somehow had gotten Cas to this point…

Wow, they could see what Gabriel meant by saying that Cas's fate was depressing.

They all were quiet, lost in their own thoughts, when Dean happened to glance out the window at Castiel. He was the only one who saw it.

The phone call had ended, but Cas hadn't returned to the car just yet. Instead, he was hunched over a bit, and it looked like he was coughing into his hand, hard. Dean's heart twisted at how pained Cas looked. As the angel straightened when the fit had passed, he glanced down at his hand and then wiped it off on a handkerchief he pulled from the pocket of his trenchcoat. Cas quickly stuffed it away, but not before Dean saw a quick flash of red. The angel then straightened and he looked normal as he walked back to the car and got back in.

"Well, Sam thinks I've found another liquor store." Castiel grumbled as he pulled his seatbelt on. "And he doesn't want you in the Bunker without him there."

Sam looked a bit shocked. "He doesn't trust you?"

"He's being cautious." Cas defended Sam's future self. "And he seems on edge as he's following up that lead he told me was nothing." He seemed a bit peeved about that.

"So now what?" Bobby asked, at a loss.

Cas looked thoughtful for a moment. Then he turned to Hannah. "What was it you wished me to help with?"

Hannah perked up a bit, but Dean found himself tuning out the conversation. All he could see was that splash of red that Cas had coughed up.

Cas was dying.

The thought hurt Dean more than it should have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I'm trying to match this up as best as I can to the timeline within the actual episodes, but it's hard when there aren't many indicators of when things are happening or where exactly they're going (so I can calculate driving time with Google maps). Still, I've done my best here to make it match up. Also, anyone else find it weird that when Sam called Cas was practically hacking up a lung, then once Hannah shows up he's totally fine? I did. Cas was totally hiding how bad things were from Hannah, such as suppressing the urge to cough, so he could try to be useful before he died. That's all Cas really wants: to be useful.


	8. Demons, Inside and Out

Cas had looked uncomfortable about Hannah's mission, but he had agreed to help her. It looked like it was going to take longer than he thought it would though, because after walking down to the place in the middle of nowhere that these two rogue angels were apparently hiding out in, Cas came back and handed Dean the keys. He asked for Dean to take them someplace to get food for the rest of the day before coming back. They had to wait for the second angel to come back.

Dean didn't like it. He was separated from Cas, Cas was dying, and the whole thing stunk. Of course, he, along with Sam and Bobby, had agreed to stay in the car while they were doing this whole thing, and it was so boring. It was different for the other two. Cas had given Sam permission to use his laptop, and by using his super power of being able to find Wi-Fi anywhere, Sam was soon looking up things that may have happened during the time skip. Bobby was looking through some lore books Cas had. They both had entertainment.

And what did Dean have? A whole bunch of worries, that's what.

He didn't like this future. Sure, it was great that Lucifer wasn't dancing around wearing his brother like a tailored suit, but things were still going down fast. It was…wrong. Cas was dying, still, and it seemed that he wasn't comfortable hanging out at what was apparently the Winchester's new home or in Heaven.

It was like Cas was… alone.

Dean really didn't like that thought. It made him think of the Cas that was waiting for them back in their own time. Given the incident with Fate, if Cas found out they were missing, he would probably go ballistic and do anything he could to find them.

Then Dean remembered that the angel had betrayed them, spied on them, and worked with Crowley. He tired to hold on to his anger at that, but seeing how things were looking for the angel, it was pretty hard. After all, even with that against him, it was clear that the angel still cared about them the most.

Also, it occurred to Dean who had taught Cas that it was alright to make deals with demons. Gabriel was right that every single one of them had worked with demons in the past. Hell, Bobby had made the deal with Crowley himself.

Still, the fact that Castiel had turned to a demon, to _Crowley_ , instead of him, reignited the anger. He couldn't let go of it just yet. After all, Castiel had lied about it. Whenever one of them had had dealings with demons, they had never really hid it. If they really were family, Cas should have come to him no matter what.

He ignored the voice that asked if he really would have helped since he had turned his back on that world.

He leaned back in the car's backseat next to Sam with Bobby on Sam's other side. How the moose had ended up in the middle, he didn't know. Still, Dean had crawled back here once the sunset, sure that the angels would eventually turn up and want to drive away, whether they were successful or not. Dean closed his eyes.

He opened them slightly when he heard approaching footsteps. It sounded like one of them was stumbling. He saw the silhouettes of Cas and Hannah coming closer. He feigned sleep, knowing that Cas was more willing to talk to Hannah about what was going on right now in their time than to worry the three hunters with the future's problems.

Cas started the car, and they left the forest. It took a while before either of them said anything.

"We have to report this." Hannah started.

"And say what? Things got out of control?" Cas didn't really try to hide the bitter tone in his voice. "Another angel has died."

"He was going to kill me, Castiel." She tried to justify it.

"They just wanted to be left alone." Cas's voice was sad now, and he sounded almost…sympathetic. Dean had never really heard him like that before.

"Without rules, there is chaos. Out of chaos rise angels like Naomi, Bartholomew…Metatron."

Dean didn't like the sound of any of those angels. He had heard what Metatron had done, and that was bad. He wondered what the other two had done to be placed in the same category as him.

"Well, perhaps I've been down here with them for too long." Cas now sounded like it did when he claimed that each human was a work of art. It held love and awe and maybe a hint of longing. Dean kind of liked the idea that hanging with him and the others helped Castiel see more than just a need for order. "There's seemingly nothing but chaos. But not all bad comes from it. Art. Hope. Love. Dreams."

For a second, Dean was amazed. Castiel had certainly seen the worse of humanity. Hell, the angel had seen the worst of Dean. Still, he looked at the better things that humanity had to offer.

And no sex, drugs, or alcohol had been mentioned.

He certainly was different than that other version of Cas.

"But those are human things." Hannah stuttered out, sounding confused.

There was a pause. "Yes." Castiel finally said, and once more he sounded sad and almost wistful.

The two didn't say anything else, and Dean found himself joining his brother and surrogate father in sleep.

* * *

Dean woke up to find the car had stopped. The car was on a dock, and he saw Cas stand up and exit the driver's seat.

That's when he noticed the blood on Cas's shirt.

He scrambled up and out of the car, accidentally elbowing Sam in the head. His brother grunted, but Dean ignored it.

"What the hell happened?" He silently berated himself for not noticing it the night before.

"I'm fine." Cas didn't look at him as he walked over to a sink and washed his hands.

"Fine?" Dean was incredulous. "You're an angel. Actually bleeding is always a sign that you're not fine." He spat out.

Cas turned and gave him a bitch face. Seriously, Dean was going to have to give Sam a talk about teaching angels how to do that face. "I'll be fine." Cas amended. "All I have to do is…" Cas held up a hand to his chest to heal it, his hand glowing. However, the glow sputtered and flickered out.

The angel pursed his lips, not looking at Dean giving him a look that said, "I told you so."

"Here." Hannah walked around the car from the passenger side. "Allow me." Her own hand glowed, and Dean heard the sound of flesh re-knitting itself together.

Cas's hand came up to rest on Hannah's own. Dean ignored the part of him that twitched at that.

"Thank you." Gratitude filled Cas's voice and eyes at he looked at her. Then, something flickered in his eyes, and his expression became more neutral. "Hannah, you don't have to – you – you can go. You don't owe me anything."

There was something that gave Dean pause there. It almost sounded like Cas expected her to leave. And if him and the others hadn't been dropped on him from the past, then Cas would have ended up alone.

That still seemed wrong to him.

He heard Bobby and Sam getting out of the car and stretching behind him as Hannah replied, "I know. But I want to stay…and help." Cas chuckled a bit at that. "Is that wrong?" Hannah sounded a bit nervous.

Cas gave her a gentle, small smile. "No. It's just…very human." At seeing Hannah's affronted expression, he added. "It's a compliment."

Dean chuckled himself. From what he knew, Cas was probably the only angel who would think that being compared to a human was a compliment.

He was about to go and say something, when they were once more interrupted by the sound of a cell phone ringing.

Cas walked towards the front of the car as he answered it. Then all of them were treated to a one-sided conversation. "Sam."

"…"

"I do?" Castiel sounded a bit confused.

"…"

"Good. Great." Cas replied. Obviously, this Sam had managed to find this Dean. Dean could almost see how that thought was confusing.

There was a longer pause as Sam said something. Cas was turned away, so Dean couldn't see his face, but he saw his spine stiffen and the angel straightened in shock.

"Dean's a demon?" Everyone froze, and stared at Castiel's back in horror. "How?" He demanded.

Whatever Sam said, it obviously was not what Cas wanted to hear. He brought his hand up and rubbed his eyes. "That is a vast understatement."

Cas looked off into the distance as Sam finished up. "So…I'll meet you there." He nodded at whatever Sam said and hung up.

He turned around to find Dean and the others still staring at him. He sighed again, and Dean could see the weight of this task falling onto his shoulders. "It would seem that the situation regarding Dean is a lot more complicated than I thought." He finally said.

That was probably even more of an understatement than what Sam had told the angel.

"I'm a demon?" Dean finally choked out. He couldn't believe it. That had been one of his worse fears since he had sold his soul: becoming one of the very things he hunted and despised.

"How…?" Sam asked, his voice trailed off.

"It appears the Mark has more power and influence than we thought." Castiel looked pained, but somewhat determined. "Get in the car," he gestured to it, "we're going to North Dakota."

"Are you going to kill him?" Bobby asked as he headed back to the car.

"No." The humans looked at Cas in surprise. Again, Dean noted how determined he looked, how resolute. It was like when Castiel had been so sure in Heaven, God, and his orders. "We can save him.

The hunters exchanged glances, pity in their eyes. There was no way to really save a demon except killing it.

"How? Demons can't be saved." Dean said.

"Yes, they can." Cas replied. "We found the process of how to cure one." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Though it should go more smoothly this time as there are no repercussions from the trials to deal with."

Half of what Cas said flew over their heads as they didn't understand the context, but the news was startling itself. Demons could be cured? What the hell?

"Come on. Get into the car." Cas walked over to the driver's side, but Hannah's touch on his arm stopped him. As Bobby and Sam got into the back, Dean found himself eavesdropping once more.

Wow, he was getting as bad as Cas.

"Are you sure about this?" She whispered, slight worry tingeing her voice.

Cas's brow furrowed a bit. "If you want to stay behind…"

"I don't." She replied hurriedly. "I just…Castiel…I think the Winchesters are a bad influence on you."

Cas straightened. "Sam and Dean may be a bit rough around the edges, but they're the best men I've ever known." Dean was stunned at the compliment, especially since he knew that they ended up going through with the plan to trap him within holy oil. "And they're my friends." He finished as if that was reason enough to risk everything for them.

To Castiel, it probably was.

Castiel gently lifted her hand off of his arm and got into the driver's seat. After a moment, Hannah slid into the shotgun seat.

With a quick snap of his wrist, Cas started the car, shifted it into gear, and rode off towards North Dakota.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: To most angels, Castiel's human feelings (which he has probably always had a problem with as Samandriel and Naomi indicated) are wrong. It's not as bad as demons, but it's something they feel should be eradicated. Also, now Dean (at this point in time) really is a demon. If any of you get on Youtube, I suggest looking up soberdenatural. This person creates fantastic videos, especially of Castiel and Dean, and more recently made a video to the song Demons that's a juxtaposition of Dean and Cas's demons and how they try to help each other deal with them, yet remains unresolved because, in the show, none of their demons will really be gone until the end (probably). Anyway, things are getting heated.


	9. How Deals End

Before night fell, they only stopped for gas and food. Then, they ended up stopping to sleep at a roadside motel. Cas looked like he didn't really want to, but there was really no choice.

Dean was still kind of freaked out by it. Castiel had almost fallen asleep at the wheel. It was only because Dean had been paying attention and staring at the back of his head that he had noticed it, shouted, and prevented Cas from swerving into the other lane. The incident had shaken everyone up, and when Dean offered to drive them to the nearest motel, Cas had agreed.

The moment they got to the motel and into their room, Cas shrugged off his trench coat and dropped on the bed. Unlike last time, he didn't even bother to take off his shoes. He curled up and he was out like a light. It was like his Grace was going to go out soon.

Dean gulped at the thought as he looked at the slumbering angel. There was something so wrong about Cas being weak enough to need sleep. He wasn't supposed to vulnerable like this.

Hannah picked up his trench coat from where it lay at the end of the bed and gently tucked it around Castiel. Dean could see the worry in her eyes as she looked at him. As he watched, he saw a spark enter her eyes.

Hannah had an idea to save Cas. He just knew it.

She looked up and met his eyes. Her eyes narrowed at him in dislike.

"I'll stay in the car." She said, tuning on her heel towards the door.

Dean went up to her and caught her elbow. She looked back at him. "Whatever you're planning." He glanced back at Cas. "Don't do it without me."

She blinked in surprise. She nodded slightly and left.

Dean looked after her. It confused him a moment. _Why would she be so surprised that I want to go with her?_

He turned back to Bobby and Sam. Sam was giving him a bitch face.

"What?"

"Really?" Sam asked, incredulous. "Are you trying to get in an angel's pants?"

It took Dean a moment to process what Sam said. "What? No!"

"Uh-huh." Bobby didn't seem any more convinced than Sam was.

Dean rubbed his forehead. "Don't you think we've got a few more important problems than that?"

The two of them grew serious.

"Yeah…" Sam's voice trailed off and he sat down at the rickety table the room offered. "A demon." He sounded depressed.

"Never thought it would come to that." Bobby admitted, going over to the mini bar and grabbing a beer.

"I know!" Dean said. "What the hell was I thinking? Getting the Mark of Cain in the first place? Listening to Crowley? I should know better!"

"Well, we can't really judge him." Sam started to say.

"We sure as hell can!" Dean countered.

"We can't." Bobby interrupted before it could turn into a full-blown fight. The other two turned to him. "We don't know the exact circumstances, so we can't judge his decisions."

"Wow, deep. Now," they whirled around at the sound of the new voice, "will you extend that courtesy to Cassie?"

Gabriel sat on the bed, looking down at his little brother. Dean blinked a bit. Gabriel actually looked worry. As they watched, Gabriel laid a gentle hand on Cas's head and stroked his hair.

Cas sighed in his sleep.

"So you decide to pop up now?" Dean asked, angry. "You know, we haven't seen you at all. Where the hell are you in all this?"

Gabriel looked up and his expression hardened. "Sometimes we can't interfere with things. You should know that." His gaze returned to Castiel. "No matter how much we want to."

"Alright." Dean bit his tongue as Sam agreed with the archangel/trickster. However, as he looked at his brother, he saw understanding in his eyes. How did Sam get this?

"What do you mean, we can't judge him?" Dean asked, feeling defensive.

Gabriel squinted at him. "Do you brats ever listen?"

"They don't." Bobby said seriously. "That's why it's better for you to tell me so I can explain it in small words." The older man ignored the brothers indignant sputtering. "Then, again," he shrugged, "I already get what you're trying to say."

Gabriel blinked. "You must be the real brains here." Suddenly, he was up and patting Sam on the shoulder. "Sorry, Samsquatch, looks like you've been replaced."

Sam took a step back from the archangel, looking slightly confused.

"No wonder the Winchester's have gotten so far off the beaten path." Gabriel continued, turning to Bobby. "You were no longer around to hit them upside the head when they were about to do stupid things."

Bobby paused. "I guess I'll take that as a compliment." He finally, begrudgingly, said.

"Good. 'Cause it was." Gabriel said flippantly. Then he grew serious. "You guys have no clue what brought Cas to make a deal with Crowley. You guys have never really asked about the war, or seemed to really care unless it somehow affected you. Seriously, I say it again, you guys treat him like crap." Gabriel sighed and looked over at his brother with pity in his eyes. "But he still comes when you call." His gaze turned thoughtful. "He's like one of those puppies in the commercials. The owner kicks it over and over, but the puppy comes back because it still loves the owner." He turned back to the hunters. He continued dryly, "If you aren't getting the analogy, you're the owners."

"You make it sound like we never do anything for Cas!" Dean felt himself growing defensive. "After all, we've nearly died for him before!"

"Really?" Gabriel raised a condescending eyebrow. "When?" There was silence. "Any time you can think of?"

Dean cast his thoughts back, knowing that surely there must have been a time, but nothing was coming to mind. That thought from the other night was back, saying that Gabriel was right.

"That's what I thought." Gabriel finally said. "He risks everything for you, but you really do nothing in return. Anytime he's been saved, it's been due to himself doing something, or someone other than you saving him. He's actually _died_ for you. Multiple times. That's not something that you can claim, since Castiel is always there to make sure you guys don't die." He snorted. "And as if almost dying is a big deal for you all. It's how you _freaking operate_. So you can't use it as an excuse."

Dean was stunned speechless. He couldn't deny what Gabriel had said. Something inside twisted up at the thought that Gabriel might be right.

"This is just a check-in." Gabriel continued. "The lesson's not over yet, so you might want to prepare yourselves." With a familiar rustle of wings, Gabriel was gone.

The three of them stared where the archangel had vanished. The only sound in the room was from Castiel's steady breathing.

"I don't like this." Bobby broke the silence. "I don't like this at all."

Dean couldn't help but agree.

* * *

Morning broke once more. Bobby and Sam were yawning and quickly fell asleep once they got underway. The two of them had commandeered Cas's laptop and held a powwow all night trying to figure out what might be next in this future and how they might prepare. Dean, on the other hand, took over the other bed and slept soundly.

It was more obvious than ever that something was wrong with Cas. Despite the sleep he had gotten the night before, he was still obviously exhausted. He didn't protest as Hannah offered to drive and took the keys from him. Castiel didn't want a repeat of the night before.

Soon the backseat of the Pimpmobile was filled with the sounds of sleep.

After checking that they were really asleep, Dean turned to Hannah from where he sat in the shotgun seat. "I saw the look in your eyes." He told her. "You've got an idea to save Cas."

"Yes." She said, glancing in the rearview mirror. "He won't like it though. It will cause a delay."

"I say, do it," Dean said. "After all, it looks like he's not going to do anything about it."

Hannah's lips became a thin line. She didn't seem to want to agree with Dean, but he could live with that as long as she helped Cas. Finally, she spoke, "You're very different."

Dean didn't know what to make of that, as Hannah turned the wheel, heading for the new destination.

"So what is your plan?" He asked.

"Not all of Castiel's original Grace may be gone." She told him. "And if any still exists, there is one person who will know." She paused. "That's why I'll go ask him."

"I'll go with you." He offered.

Hannah shook her head. "This is not a place where mortals are meant to go."

Dean wondered where exactly they were going.

* * *

A playground was not what he was expecting.

Hannah parked and told him to wait with the others. She quickly walked over towards the equipment and gave a nod to a woman sitting on a bench. There was a ripple of blue light and then she was gone.

Dean blinked at that, but there had been weirder things that he had seen. He wondered where she ended up. He couldn't help but be bored though, since there was really nothing to do. He ended up slipping Cas's cell phone from the angel's coat pocket and started playing around with it.

Not ever ten minutes after Hannah left, Cas woke up. He looked around in confusion. "Hannah?"

"Uh, she went over there and disappeared." Dean gestured over to where she had gone.

"Why would she – " Castiel's voice broke off as realization bloomed in his widening eyes. Then he was scrambling out of the car, jarring Bobby and Sam awake. He hurried over to the same spot Hannah had vanished from, not even noticing Dean putting the phone back in his pocket with a single difference.

"What? What's going on?" Sam asked. Dean put a hand over his mouth and shook his head to tell him he should be quiet. He held up his own phone, which was currently in the middle of being connected to Cas's phone.

Something told him that they needed to hear what was going on wherever the angels had gone.

At first all they heard was the sound Cas's footsteps. Then, there was a murmur of voices steadily getting louder. The first clear thing they heard was some guy with a sleazy voice saying, "So, do we have a deal?"

A chill ran up all of their spines. Those words never seemed to end a situation well.

"No." Castiel's voice came in loud and clear, resolute. "What are you doing?"

"Ugh." That sleazy voice was back. Something about this guy simultaneously gave Dean the creeps and made him want to stab the guy in the face. "You know perfectly well what she's doing, Ass-tiel."

"I had to. You are dying." Hannah didn't and did sound like she was begging.

"She's right. You totally are." The voice was now condescending.

"You, shut up!" Cas obviously hated this guy. The hunters had never heard him use that tone in regards to anyone, not even Raphael or a demon.

"He said your Grace – it's still out there." Hannah was trying to make Cas understand why she was doing this. Dean felt a bit of hope himself. If Cas got his real Grace back, he could live.

"He's lying." Castiel was saying this like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "He is a liar." He obviously wanted Hannah to understand this.

Suddenly, it hit Dean who the mysterious voice was. After all, who else would know where Castiel's Grace was but the person who took it? This was Metatron.

Dean suddenly understood Cas's reluctance to trust him. After all, this angel had apparently tricked him before and his Grace had been stolen as a result.

"Hey, words hurt." Metatron whined, sounding like some crappy actress trying to win sympathy points in a movie but being unable to pull it off. It was really just grating.

"Listen to me, Hannah. You don't want this." Cas seemed to be speaking from experience. "I have seen what – " There was a slight hesitation, and his voice came back over the phone even more pained. "I've made deals born of desperation, and they always end in blood and tears – always."

Dean's heart stopped. Something clicked into place.

_How desperate was Cas to turn to Crowley in the first place?_

He had never really considered how bad the civil war in Heaven must be. After all, Cas was the reliable one, the one he didn't have to worry about, especially when things with Sam were so bad. He guessed he just couldn't really comprehend it, just like when they first met and Cas had told him that his brothers were dying and fighting battles that Dean wasn't even aware of.

A slight curl of guilt hit him at that moment, but he shoved it away. This wasn't the time.

Still, Cas's words also made him wonder how badly his deal with Crowley had turned out.

"So I'm supposed to let you…" Hannah's voice trailed off, sadness tinting it.

"Yes." Dean was surprised at how sure and calm Castiel sounded. How he could so easily accept that he was dying. "It's my life and it's my choice." Something cold filled Dean at the fact that it wasn't just Cas accepting to die, but _choosing_ to die. Were things really that bad? He was jolted from his thoughts as Castiel's voice hardened. "And I don't want this."

"I…" Hannah's voice grew quiet. "You're right. I'm sorry." She accepted his decision. Her bid to save Cas had failed.

Dean hit the button to end the call. They had probably heard all that they needed to. He exchanged looks with his brother and surrogate father.

None of them could deny the truth in Cas's words. And Dean could see that they were wondering the same thing as him.

Whose blood and tears were shed by the end of Castiel and Crowley's deal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So, no Castiel interacting with children, which is such a shame because it's always so adorable. I love that sort of thing, but I didn't want him to crash with more passengers in the car. On another note, I seriously hate Metatron. I can't even really begin. I would choose to have him die a horrible death even more than Naomi, and I really hate her. Actually, the characters I hate most are angels (how odd). On the plus side, Dean and the others are beginning to wise up. I really do think that things have gone wrong because Bobby wasn't there to slap sense into them. There's a reason Bobby is my third favorite. Castiel, of course, is my favorite. Still, onward and upward.


	10. Living on a Prayer

Both Dean and Hannah were in the doghouse, and they knew it.

Cas's anger was subtle, but it was still there. He took the car keys from Hannah, and Dean was once more banished to the backseat. He obviously didn't like the fact that the two of them had tried to think of a way to save him, and that bothered Dean. He had already figured out that the angel didn't really care if he died, but now it seemed that he almost _wanted_ to.

That was too much like the other Cas for his liking.

Shortly after they got on the road, and it was in the middle of the afternoon by then, Cas got another call from Sam. Apparently Sam had managed to snatch up Demon Dean and was heading back to the Bunker to cure him. Cas sighed and agreed to meet him there with his entourage. Then he turned the wheel in the direction of their original destination.

Dean wanted to smack his head against the window. After all, they had basically wasted time when they could have gone there in the first place. Besides, Castiel was clearly in no state to go against any demons, Dean or not. He looked like crap and he probably wasn't feeling any better.

They were driving through the night, because Cas obviously wasn't going to stop again, when Hannah turned off the radio and asked the same question Dean had been thinking.

"How are you holding up?" She asked politely.

"Fine." The terse answer came, though he obviously was trying hard to make it sound like things were fine. The hunters in the backseat winced at how much he sounded like them.

Dean actually snorted. "You're a terrible liar."

Cas frowned and looked at him in the rearview mirror. "Why does everyone keep saying that?" He seemed to be asking himself this more than his audience.

Hannah gave Dean a warning look over her shoulder. "You say you're fine, but you don't look fine." She clearly didn't believe him.

Cas sighed. "It's what the humans do." He gave a pointed look at the backseat in the rearview mirror. "They say they're fine. And even if I – I don't look it." He glanced at her. "You say I look well, and that way we can avoid talking about something we can do nothing about."

Yes, that was certainly something he learned from the Winchesters.

Dean knew that he had probably seen it, and learned it, mostly from Dean himself.

Hannah chewed her lip a bit. "I'm sorry. I just can't see how Sam Winchester could ask you to drive all this way to help his brother, knowing your condition."

Cas glanced at her again, but quickly looked away.

"You did tell future me, right?" Sam leaned forward.

Silence.

And the guy asks why people say he's a terrible liar.

Actually, come to think of it, how the hell did he lie to them this whole year then? As Bobby had pointed out, he seemed to avoid lying outright, but still…

"He doesn't know." Hannah sounded incredulous. "About how badly you're hurt. He doesn't know your grace is fading, does he?"

Something twisted in Dean again. After all, if Cas was hiding this from his future self, then that was basically the same thing that their Cas had been doing with his deal with Crowley. That did not bode well.

"He knows some." Cas said, and that didn't really make it much better in Dean's book. "And he didn't have to ask. Sam is alone in this, he's attempting to change Dean from demon to human with the cure of sanctified blood, but there's no guarantee that will work. It could potentially work better than the last time it was used, but the Mark complicates matters. If it doesn't, then Dean will be gone," his grip on the wheel tightened, "and the demon must be dealt with."

In other words, he would have to kill what was left of Dean.

This whole thing sucked all around.

Cas clearly did not want it to come to that. His knuckles were white where he clutched the wheel, and his face was pensive. Dean was almost touched by his reluctance to hurt him.

"I just – I worry about you." Hannah admitted, giving him a smile.

Castiel avoided her gaze, turning his eyes back to the road in front of them.

Dean looked between the two. It almost seemed like Hannah had a crush on Cas, though that might not be the case considering the big sister vibe she gave off when she first arrived. Cas didn't seem to return the crush though, which somehow made Dean feel relieved. Still, Cas seemed to be a bit lost about what to do about it.

For a long while, the drive was silent, and Dean found himself drifting off.

* * *

It was light out when Dean woke up. The car was stopped in the road, and Cas and Hannah were peering at a map. Looking over, Dean saw that Sam and Bobby were also waking up.

"Sorry, I missed another turn." Hannah was saying. "I have no idea where the main road is."

Cas sighed a bit as he sat on the hood a bit, looking around with his back turned to the other angel.

Hannah was now looking at the car with slight disgust. "These things are so… confining and primitive." She glanced up and frowned.

Dean followed her gaze. Cas looked even worse than before and, was he breathing a bit harder?

"It's getting worse, isn't it?" Cas glanced back at her a bit, before Hannah walked around the car to face him. "Castiel, it's time we stopped avoiding the obvious." She gestured, trying to appeal to him. "You and I both know how to fix this – both you and the situation."

Castiel was clearly fed up with the conversation. Then again, how many times had he said this in the last few days? Dean didn't know and he didn't care. "I will not slit some angel's throat and steal its Grace." Hannah opened her mouth to argue, but Cas quickly cut in. "And before you say it, we definitely are not going begging to Metatron."

Hannah gave a slight nod as if she had been expecting that. "What about helping your friend and sending the rogue angels back to Heaven?" Dean hoped this would work. After all, if appealing to Cas's sense of duty didn't work, then Dean didn't know what would. They had already tried the family card, and that didn't work. Cas avoided her look. "Your preference to die for your principles – it's very noble, but it is meaningless."

Cas stared at her. "Then _you_ carry on." Unlike the other times, there was no anger in Cas for the suggestions. Dean wondered what that could possibly mean.

"I'm not enough." Hannah said, clearly slightly afraid at the prospect of doing it by herself. She also sounded slightly desperate to make Cas see reason.

Cas looked old for once. In all of the time Dean had known him, he had known that Cas was old, but the angel had never really looked it. He looked old and defeated and tired, and Dean hated it. "Sometimes, enough is whatever you have."

Hannah looked down and then as Cas started to move away, she took his arm. The two of them stared into each others' eyes, and Dean felt a bit uncomfortable.

"Remember when you asked what I meant about your and Cas's staredowns making me uncomfortable." Sam leaned over to Dean and whispered, making Dean jump. He had almost forgotten he was there.

"What?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded at Cas and Hannah. "It's kinda like that from the outside. Though," he continued, "you and Cas tend to be a lot more intense than this."

"Cas and I don't stare at each other that much." Dean said, confused.

"Yes, you do." Bobby supported Sam.

The sound of a cell phone interrupted all of them. Cas looked down and pulled it out of his pocket. He walked off a bit as he answered it.

Hannah sighed and refolded the map before returning to the passenger's seat. Dean found himself staring at her.

"What?" She asked, clearly annoyed.

"So do you have a crush on Cas or something?" Dean asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Hannah frowned. "I have no desire to crush him."

Dean fought the urge to facepalm. It was like talking to Cas way back in the beginning.

"That's not what he means." Sam's voice was tight, like he was trying to stop himself from bursting out laughing. "He's asking if you have romantic feelings for Cas."

Hannah's frown didn't leave her face. "I am an angel. I don't have such human feelings."

The brothers glanced at each other. "Uh, angels do have feelings, as much as you all seem to avoid admitting it." Dean finally said. She avoided his look.

"I admire Castiel." Hannah admitted. "He is an excellent commander and sticks to his convictions. I just," her lips thinned, "I wish he would have more regard for himself and take care."

"Yeah, seriously, what's up with that?" Dean asked. "Why does he keep putting this whole thing with me before himself? Doesn't he have an ounce of self-preservation?"

Hannah turned around to look at him. "I do not know." Her eyes seemed to be boring into his soul. "I suspect it is because it deals with you. I have told you that he has lost much because of you."

"Yeah, yeah. He said he rebelled for me, that's old news." Dean said, ignoring the glares that Bobby and Sam were surely sending him. Besides, despite what Cas said, it's not like he rebelled _just_ for him. It was for the world and stuff.

Hannah looked at him in surprise. "Castiel gave up an army for you." She said quietly. "He has chosen you over Heaven, so many times." She leaned in. "And I do not know why."

Dean leaned back, uncomfortable. Was this lack of personal space an angel thing? He didn't really like it when an angel besides Cas was doing it.

Cas opened up the door and slid into the driver's seat. "Hand the map to Sam, Hannah." He said, turning the key in the ignition. "He excels at navigation."

"What's wrong?" Dean asked as there was new urgency in Castiel's movements.

He ignored Dean's question in favor of driving away as per Sam's instructions. Finally, he said, "Sam thinks it's killing him."

There was no response as Cas put the pedal to the metal.

* * *

The car started to run out of gas a few miles away from where Cas said the Bunker was. Despite what Cas wanted, they had to stop.

The three humans were thankful for it as they scrambled towards the gas station's bathroom. None of them had felt like using a bottle.

It's funny how fast things can dissolve. Dean had heard the sound of Cas and Hannah talking about something as they went towards the bathroom, the angels getting out of the car slower than them. He didn't pay it any mind as he had other things to worry about. It was after he had answered the call of the wild that he heard the crash of glass and a thump.

He and Sam, who had managed to get to the bathroom before him due to his freakishly long legs, exchanged a glance before they pulled out the weapons they had on hand and walked towards the corner of the shop. Dean peered around the corner.

He fought back the urge to swear. Some chick was crouched over Cas punching him. Dean could already see blood and shards of glass embedded in his skin. With a glance at the shop, it looked like Cas had been kicked or punched through the front door, probably by this chick.

Meaning that this was an angel they were dealing with.

Still, it was like Cas wasn't even defending himself. For a moment, Dean wondered at this then it hit him. It wasn't that Cas wasn't defending himself, it was that he _couldn't_. Things were even worse than Dean had thought even with the piling evidence.

Dean moved to go help him, but Sam grabbed him and held him back. "We don't have angel blades or holy oil on us." Sam hissed in his ear. "We can't do anything."

Dean grimaced at his own uselessness, but Sam was right. He grit his teeth.

The angel seemed to be content with Cas's state and stalked back into the store where Hannah probably was. Dean made to go help him, but he stopped himself and hid as a figure materialized.

The figure was short and dressed in all black. Dean would recognize that balding head anywhere. "Crowley." He growled.

Crowley walked up to Cas and seemed to study the panting angel. Cas looked up at him, his eyes hazy, and he didn't seem to have enough energy to work up a glare.

"Hey, champ." Crowley smirked a bit. "Look at you," he mocked. "Talk about roadkill."

Crowley looked into the store and walked in himself.

Figuring they were now alone, Dean once more tried to get to Cas's side. Sam's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Think of the field day Crowley would make of this." Sam whispered as Bobby crept up next to them. "We can't let him see us."

"Cas is hurt." Dean said.

"And what exactly would we be able to do, boy?" Bobby asked.

Dean tried to respond, but he stopped as he saw Crowley walk out of the store. In one hand, he held a bloody angel blade, and in the other, he held a glowing bottle of something. It seemed familiar to Dean, and suddenly, he remembered the search for Anna's Grace and that dick Uriel having a vial filled with light.

"That's – " He watched in surprise as Crowley crouched down and lifted Castiel's head. He unstopped the bottle and tried to bring the bottle to Cas's lips.

Cas groaned, so he was still conscious. He turned his head away from the bottle and his hand came up to push Crowley's arm away.

It looked so weak that it made Dean want to cry.

"Don't be an idiot." Crowley growled, looking around as if checking to see who was watching. "Yes, it's hers, but she was killing your girlfriend. Your hands are clean."

Cas's eyes fluttered close, even though it was obvious that he was trying to stay awake.

"Much as it pains me to say this, you're useless to me dead." Crowley continued, and, wow, Dean did not like the sound of that.

Cas's hand fell and Crowley took the opportunity to tip the bottle further towards Castiel's lips.

A white, smokey light poured forth from the bottle and slipped into Cas's mouth. Crowley put the angel down and quickly stepped away as Cas consumed the Grace. A white light started from Cas's stomach and engulfed his body. When the light faded, there was no sign that Cas had been injured other than the blood on his clothes. Hannah stared, bloody and dumbstruck, from the doorway.

"You owe me." Crowley said matter-of-factly as Castiel glared up at him from where he sat on the ground.

Cas got to his feet. "Why did you help me?" Cas growled, suspicion in his gaze.

"Purely business." Crowley explained. "Since you're 5 miles away from the Winchesters' clubhouse, I can only surmise that you're headed there and that Dean has become a handful. Having him as a demon has caused me nothing but grief." Crowley pointed at Cas and ordered, "Fix the problem."

"You realize – worse comes to worst, that means killing him." It looked like that thought pained Cas.

Crowley gave a half shrug as he walked away. "I'm not sentimental." He walked a few more steps before he teleported away.

Hannah walked over to stand by Castiel's side and the two of the exchanged a glance.

The three hunters walked out from around the corner, staring at where Crowley had disappeared.

Castiel growled again. "Get in the car." He gestured for the three of them to get in.

"So you're okay now?" Dean asked, tentatively, as he paused before getting into the backseat. That was a good thing, right?

Cas gave him an exasperated look. "For now." He sat down and started the car. "But now I owe Crowley." His voice held a hint of disgust.

The hunters exchanged a glance. Sure, Cas was fine, until this new Grace ran out, but…

It might not be worth owing Crowley.

Dean hoped that it would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Owing Crowley is never a good thing. Seriously, you don't want that. Personally, I'm wondering when Crowley's going to call that favor in. Sorry for not having the Winchesters interact with him. Having them interact would just make things that much more complicated for them and luckily Sam saw that. Also, with the title of this chapter, it's referring to two things. Cas himself is praying that he will make it to the Bunker in time and Dean (his Dean) will be alright. Then we are all praying that Cas won't end up dying again and that this thing with Crowley won't make Cas hate himself anymore than he already does.


	11. Faith

In the end, it all turned out to be pretty anti-climatic.

They pulled up to what looked like an abandoned factory with a metal door at the bottom of some stairs surrounded by concrete. If it weren't for the Impala parked nearby, Dean would have thought that Cas was pulling their leg. Then Dean looked inside, saw the mess, and realized just how far future him must be gone in order to trash his baby.

Cas told all of them to stay outside. Apparently the ritual thing should be approaching the end, so he didn't want to risk anything.

With that final word, he rushed into the Bunker, as if sensing that he was needed.

It was about 10 minutes later that he came back out.

"That last bit of blood has been administered." His voice was back to its usual deep rumble, no sign of the exhausting pain that had been lacing it since the three hunters had been dropped in this time by Gabriel. There was a hint of hurt in his eyes, but Dean got the feeling that that pain had nothing to do with Cas's physical state. "Dean will most likely awake within the hour, but you may come in."

"I'll wait here." Hannah seemed reluctant to enter the Winchesters' new abode.

Cas acknowledged her decision with a nod and led the way into the stronghold.

Once they passed the entryway, the three of them stared around in shock.

Vaulted ceilings, a metal staircase that led to the main room, rows of shelves that could be seen even from up here. There was a table with a map of the world on it and a bunch of old looking equipment scattered about. It definitely had a 50's look to it, but it was more than the Winchesters and Bobby had ever had. It took a moment for it to sink in with Dean that this is where he and Sam _lived_.

"Welcome to the Men of Letters Bunker." Castiel said as he led them down a curving staircase. "This is the largest deposit of supernatural knowledge on Earth."

"Holy shit." Bobby said, making a beeline towards the library, probably trying to see what his own extensive library didn't have.

"How did we find this?" Sam looked just as stunned as Dean. No wonder. Sam had always wanted a place to settle down. And this sort of place… It was a way to stay involved in the supernatural and not be a hunter. The information here probably could have saved their butts dozens of times in the past.

"You inherited it from your grandfather, I guess you could say." Cas had a small smile on his face as he watched them take in the sight of their future home.

"Samuel? Ugh." Dean scrunched his nose, but stopped when Castiel shook his head.

"No. From Henry Winchester." Seeing Dean tense at the name of the man who had supposedly run out on his Dead as a kid, Cas quickly continued. "There were temporal circumstances that caused him to be unable to return to his time and your father." A look of sadness passed over his face. "Knowing that my siblings intended to cause the Apocalypse, even if he had been able to make it back, he probably wouldn't have been able to go home."

"Why would we have gotten this place though?" Sam asked, his brow furrowing in his confusion.

"Because this was why Dean and I were born." It was weird to hear the same voice answer Sam's question.

Dean looked over at the voice's origin and stopped in shock at the Sam who entered the room. He looked older, naturally, and his arm was in a sling. Still, for the most part, he was still the same moose as ever. Except…

"Oh my, God!" Chuckles started to pour from Dean's mouth. "Your hair!"

Both Sams gave him the bitch face, which was downright disconcerting. Still, this future Sam's hair was ridiculous. It was down to his frigging shoulders! All of those times that he had called Sam a girl was justified in that single moment.

"It ain't that funny, boy." Bobby raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't look up from whatever ancient scroll he had picked up.

"Bobby." Traces of tears were in Future Sam's eyes as he looked at their surrogate father. "Been awhile."

"Yeah, from what I hear." Bobby finally looked up, and gave a slight smile. He didn't protest as Sam came over and gave him a one-armed hug. Bobby squinted at the injured arm. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Oh. Just a demon…" Sam shrugged it off.

"Right." Bobby drawled.

"Uh." Sam suddenly looked awkward as he glanced between the time travelers. "I guess if you guys are hungry, there's food in the kitchen." He gestured down a hall and then pushed some of his mane of hair out of his face. "I've got to check on Dean." He turned to Cas before he left. "Sorry, Cas. I thought you went on a bender or were watching the bees again."

Cas frowned at him. "What's wrong with watching bees?" He tilted his head.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Sam said quickly, before glancing once more at Bobby and leaving.

The three turned to look at Castiel. "Bees?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's quite enjoyable to watch them." A slight smile crossed Cas's face. "They're my friends."

"Okay." Dean said slowly. That sounded a bit crazy, but whatever. The way the other Sam had said it, Cas watching bees sounded like a bad thing.

Well, it wasn't his problem.

There was a telltale rumbling sound. Everyone looked at Sam, who blushed where he stood.

"Yeah, I'm just going to go eat something." He wandered in the direction of the kitchen, followed by Bobby, who still took that scroll and several books with him.

That just left Cas and Dean standing there. Cas walked over to one of the tables while glancing over in the direction that Future Sam had gone. It was obvious that he wanted to follow and check on his Dean, but something was preventing him.

Dean went over to the tables himself and settled in one of the chairs. "What's up, Cas?"

Cas gave him that soul-searching stare of his. "You intend to change things, don't you?" He said softly.

"I sure as hell do." Dean replied, the entire incident playing in his mind of what was wrong here. It wasn't like the future he had seen before, but he didn't like it.

Cas looked away with a sad smile. "I'm not quite sure you can." He sighed. "However, I know better than trying to stop you once you've made up your mind."

"Hmm." Dean said, wishing he had a beer. It would make this awkward conversation so much easier. Finally, he asked the question that had been plaguing him. "How did your deal with Crowley end?"

Castiel stared at him and sighed. He took a seat. "That night…" His voice trailed off. "You and the others trapped me in a ring of holy fire. You found out… everything." He seemed so sad. "I tried to explain several times, but," his gaze dropped, "you refused to listen. You pushed me away. I was… alone then."

His eyes had a faraway look to them, and Dean couldn't help but be captivated, even as his stomach dropped. The one who had made Cas alone had been them. Even if he was angry, he shouldn't have done that.

"I can understand why you were angry. I would have been too, and, having been human for a while, I can understand better." He paused. "I didn't understand as well at time. I didn't react well. But," his eyes turned to Dean, "if you had only 24 hours to come up with a solution or die, what would you have done?"

Dean didn't have an answer to that. He couldn't imagine it.

"I don't regret the initial decision." Cas continued. "You were out, you were happy, and that was good enough for me. I only regret what came from that decision.

"You began to hunt me just like Crowley, but we were one step ahead. I made sure of that when I," he gulped and his voice became quiet, "I broke Sam's wall."

Dean stared at him in horror. For a moment, he wanted to shake the angel, asking him how could he do that, and he wanted to kill him for hurting Sammy because he had seen what happened when Sam just _scratched_ the damn thing. Then, he recalled the Future Sam, who obviously was alright. And sane. So at least that had somehow worked out.

"As Crowley said," Cas looked down in shame, "I wasn't exactly the picture of mental health."

Dean gulped down his anger. He cleared his throat. "It's alright, Cas." The angel's head snapped up and looked at him with wonder. For some reason, Dean had a sudden urge to punch himself in the face if the angel looked so grateful for him trying to comfort him.

To get rid of the sick feeling in his stomach, Dean motioned for the angel to continue.

Cas cleared his throat before continuing. "I ended up double crossing Crowley." Dean blinked. "I took all of the Purgatory souls for myself and defeated Raphael, but…" His voice trailed off once more, and Dean sat in shock at the overwhelming guilt that was just pouring off of Cas. "I had no anchor and there were so many. They took over, fed off of some of my emotions, and declared us God. That does not excuse what came after. It was all my fault and my sin." Dean hated the derision and self-hatred in Cas's voice, even more so the fact that Cas was directing it towards himself. "I slaughtered angels in Heaven, killed on Earth, and threatened you three." He paused. "And then it got worse.

"The souls weren't the only thing in Purgatory that were trying to take control. Purgatory was created to contain the Leviathans." Cas's eyes dropped again. "I couldn't control them. Even after I released the rest of the souls to Purgatory with your help, they remained. And they…"

His eyes were pained and Dean had a sudden urge to hug him. He stopped himself though. While this Cas had hugged him when they first got here, Dean could probably count on one hand the number of times he and his own Cas had touched in a friendly manner. It would just be awkward.

"I don't remember much at that point." Castiel admitted. "The souls were gone and I was alive and myself again. Then I could feel them still there. We fought, and they…" His hand curled into a fist at his side, and Dean could see how white his knuckles became. "They began ripping me apart, eating and absorbing me. I tried to make you leave, but I don't know if I did it fast enough. The next thing I felt after was that I was falling and then drowning." He paused. "Then, I was walking out of a river and I didn't know who or what I was until you found me months later. God had brought me back once more, as punishment for my sins. I still can't die properly." His eyes met Dean's and they gazed at each other like they always did. "That is how things ended with Crowley."

Dean felt sickened at what happened. Sure, opening Purgatory was obviously a bad idea, but all that Cas had gone through seemed unfair. After all, Castiel had only had 24 hours, what was he supposed to do? What could Dean have done in that amount of time? The way he described being killed by those things disgusted Dean, because Cas didn't deserve that. Then the way that Cas seemed to think that _living_ was a punishment…

Oh, this was _so_ wrong.

No wonder Cas seemed to have been so accepting of his incoming death. No wonder Cas thought that he didn't deserve to live. Dean had been on this road before, but he had never thought he'd see the day when Cas himself would walk it.

Even that other future Cas hadn't been so hard on himself.

Castiel seemed to take Dean's silence as disapproval of what he had done. It looked like he was about to move away, but Dean reached out and grasped his hand. Now, Cas was an angel, there was no way that that was enough to stop him with Cas not immediately dying, but he still stopped. He turned towards Dean and tilted his head as a familiar confused expression fell on his face.

"I will fix this." Dean growled, and it was a vow, a promise. "I won't let things get this bad, and I won't let you die like that."

Cas's expression softened into a gentle smile. "I'm sure you will." He put his hand on top of Dean's. "I have faith in you." His voice was completely and utterly sincere.

Dean blinked, stunned. Even after everything, both the things that Dean knew about and the things that had probably happened in between, Castiel still believed in him. He still held those convictions that Dean could do what was right and fix things like he had first said when Dean was in a hospital recovering from Alistair's attacks. The same faith that had led to Cas falling, and it seemed in a way that Cas still was, going deeper into the dark. But Cas clutched onto this belief, this hint of light, that Dean was good. Dean himself didn't even believe that.

What the hell had he ever done to deserve someone like Castiel in his life?

Castiel gently tugged his hand out of Dean's grip. "Dean will wake up soon. I want to be there." Then he turned and walked where the Future Sam had gone. He still was putting Dean first.

Dean continued to sit there.

Finally, as all of the pieces came together in his mind, Dean let go of the anger that had formed when he first realized that Cas was working for Crowley. For the first time in two years, he thought of how he could _really_ help Cas, how he could truly fix things. He didn't know how though.

It was then the world shattered around him and he was falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Castiel's faith in Dean always amazes me. It's also one of the things I love about him. Sorry about not letting Dean meet our current Dean, but I didn't want there to be a bloodbath.


	12. The Road So Far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just imagine the song "Carry On, My Wayward Son" playing for the first half of this chapter. Spoilers up to the Season 10 mid-finale.

Dean kept on seeing glimpses of things. He heard snatches of words. Somehow, he knew that these were all things that led to where he, Sam, and Bobby had been sent. It looked like it went beyond that too.

Castiel stood in a circle of holy fire, looking hurt and trying desperately to explain, but no one was listening.

" _We can fix this!"_

" _It's not broken, Dean!"_

Cas sitting on a bench with snow sprinkled on the ground, looking up and praying to an absent father for a sign.

Cas and Dean standing in Bobby's yard, a broken demon's trap on the ground. Cas was once more looking at Dean, his eyes pleading for understanding, but Dean turned away.

" _Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call, and I am your friend. Still, despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats, I just saved you, yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?"_

Dean, Sam, and Bobby standing in an alley when Castiel appeared, reached up, and touched Sam's head, causing him to collapse. Dean knew that the wall had been broken.

Sam unconscious in Bobby's panic room as Dean watched over him.

Castiel stabbing Balthazar in the back, his eyes practically dead. Dean knew that somehow Balthazar did something to make Cas even more alone.

Castiel standing apart from everyone as Crowley, Raphael, Bobby, and Dean stared at him in horror. He lit up, as a blinding light seemed to fill him. Then, with a snap of his fingers, Raphael exploded.

Dean pleading with him. There was no sign of Cas within his blue eyes.

" _You're not my family, Dean. I have no family."_

Sam stabbing Cas in the back with an angel blade, and Cas pulling it out without there being even a trace of blood on it.

" _But the angel blade won't work, because I'm not an angel anymore. I'm your new God. A better one."_

Castiel standing in a field surrounded by dead angels, their wings burned into the ground.

Sam looking around wildly, obviously hallucinating.

Castiel's face and body beginning to burn away as something tried to force itself out of his stomach.

Dean and Cas exchanging threats with Death right in the middle.

Cas waking up drenched in blood, an entire office of people slaughter.

Cas collapsing on the floor in Bobby's kitchen, trying to keep the souls inside.

The ceremony to open Purgatory being done once more, with Dean propping Cas up. Cas giving a final glance over his shoulder.

" _I'm sorry, Dean."_

Light exploding out of Cas before he fell to the floor. Was he dead?

Cas standing, then pushing him and Bobby away. He was jerking this way and that as he tried to fight off an enemy inside, but Dean knew that he was being killed before his eyes.

Cas's eyes black and dead, a maniacal grin crossing his face as black spread up the veins in his neck.

" _Cas is - he's gone. He's dead. We run the show now."_

Black dripping from Cas as he walked jerkily into a lake.

A trenchcoat floating in the water, the only remnant of Cas.

Sam and Dean shouting at each other at the edge of tears, and Dean gripping Sam's hand tight.

Bobby's house a smoking wreck.

Jo flickering into existence, a ghost, coming closer to Dean as if he were prey.

Bobby lying in a hospital bed with a bandage wrapped around his head, giving the Winchesters one final smile.

" _Idjits."_

Sam in a hospital looking like complete crap. He looked like he was at Death's door.

Castiel looking up at Dean from the bottom of some porch steps, not a hint of recognition in his eyes.

Cas appearing sad and guilty; still not wearing the trenchcoat, as he smote a demon.

Dean handing Cas his trenchcoat back and Cas donning it like armor.

Fiery red lines snaking from Sam to Castiel and entering his eyes.

" _It's better this way. I'll be fine."_

Cas sitting on the hospital bed in scrubs, obviously not all there, with only Meg for company.

Bobby, a ghost, still trying to help the Winchesters.

Castiel back in the trenchcoat but still not there as he gave a childish grin, as he held up a game of Sorry, as he picked up scattered pieces when Dean knew he could put it away with a wave of his fingers.

" _I don't fight anymore. I watch the bees."_

Sam looking at Cas with pity and Cas not understanding what was going on.

" _I know you never did anything but try to help. I realize that, Cas, and I'm grateful. We're all grateful. And we're gonna help you get better, okay? No matter what it takes."_

" _What do you mean 'better?'"_

Some blonde angel yelling at Dean and trying to make him pay for what he had done.

" _When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost!"_

Despite not fighting anymore, Cas still stepping in and not defending himself as the angel rained down blows.

Dean and Sam reading a notebook, Cas standing to the side. The angel smiling as he brought forth a vial and filled it with his own blood.

" _Well, you know me. Always happy to bleed for the Winchesters."_

Dean and Cas in some sort of lab with Cas once more taking the fall for Dean. Dean stabbing a guy with a knowing grin and black exploding everywhere.

Dean running through some sort of forest. Dean later joining forces with a vampire. Cas sitting at the edge of a river, dirty and tired looking.

Dean making his way through a glowing portal and Cas pushing him into it, staying in that forest.

" _I think…too much heart was always Castiel's problem."_

Sam looking down at some woman, longing in his eyes, before turning and walking out the door.

Sam and Dean arguing, looking tense.

Cas showing up once more, looking just as dirty.

Cas back in his usual outfit, sitting across from Dean in a motel room, his eyes pained.

" _Because if I see what Heaven's become – what I – what I made of it... I'm afraid I might kill myself."_

Sam and Dean yelling at each other once more.

Castiel strapped to a chair as some woman, probably an angel, stuck a drill in his eye and he screamed.

Sam and Dean looking around the Bunker with wonder.

Sam's arm glowing as he coughed painfully.

Castiel surrounded by dead bodies that looked like Dean, his eyes empty.

Castiel beating Dean up in what looked like a crypt. It kept switching between the crypt and that white room with that angel, so there was the impression that Cas was being forced to do this.

" _This isn't you. Cas, I know you're in there. I know you can hear me. Cas, it's me. We're family. We need you; I need you."_

Castiel pausing and dropping the blade. Cas healing Dean. Cas leaving.

Sam getting worse and worse, and that glow getting stronger.

A short, middle-aged man that just gave off creepy vibes.

Cas laying in the middle of the road, bleeding out, as the Impala screeched to a stop.

The man, who must be Metatron, approaching Cas as he was buying groceries.

Sam injecting something into a chained Crowley.

Sam obviously in pain and Dean begging for him to stop what he was doing.

" _Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you!"_

Cas tied down to that same chair as Metatron cut his throat and stole his grace.

The angels all falling from Heaven.

Sam dying in a hospital bed until some angel shows up and Dean lets him possess Sam.

Cas huddled into a ball on the streets, so very human.

A woman seducing Cas and then later torturing and killing him.

The angel in Sam bringing Cas back to life.

Cas looking up at Dean with the saddest expression ever to grace the Earth as Dean chose Sam as always.

" _You can't stay."_

Cas working in a gas station with a proud smile.

The angel in Sam meeting with Metatron.

Cas chained up and tortured by angels, before cutting and consuming an angel's Grace, signing his death warrant.

Dean, Cas, and Crowley riding in the Pimpmobile.

Crowley torturing the angel in Sam's body.

Team Free Will going its separate ways.

" _Well, maybe I would've liked the choice, at least."_

An older man taking Dean by the arm, and red lines link them together as the Mark of Cain is bestowed.

" _But you have to know with the mark comes a great burden. Some would call it a great cost."_

" _Yeah, well, spare me the warning label. You had me at 'kill the bitch.'"_

Dean violently stabbing and then beating up a demon with a blade that looks like some kind of jawbone.

Angels asking Cas to punish Dean and him refusing.

" _You gave us order, Castiel, and we gave you our trust. Don't lose it over one man."_

The angels leaving Cas standing with the Winchesters.

" _You really believe we three will be enough?"_

" _We always have been."_

Metatron sinking an angel blade in Dean's heart.

Cas trying to hold back tears as he faced off with Metatron.

Dean's eyes opening to reveal nothing but black.

Crowley saving Cas's life on a whim.

Dean nearly killing Sam with a hammer, only being prevented by Cas restraining him. Blue Grace-filled eyes contrasted with black demon-eyes.

The black draining away from Dean's eyes and Dean giving a sheepish smile to the angel and his brother.

Dean talking to a school girl on what looked to be a stage filled with things from their lives as two people dressed like Dean and Cas stood way too close to each other and hugged.

" _Although, we do explore the nature of Destiel in act two."_

" _Sorry, what?"_

" _Oh, it's just subtext! But, then again, you know, you can't spell subtext without... s-e-x."_

Cas and Hannah kissing. Then Hannah leaving her vessel in a stream of white light, leaving Cas looking up.

Dean facing down some guy, and looking utterly resigned and defeated.

" _Now the truth is... I'm past saving. I know how my story ends, it's at the edge of a blade or the barrel of a gun."_

Cas looking all alone as he Googled Jimmy Novak.

Cas trying to help a familiar looking girl.

Dean and Cas sitting in a restaurant together. Cas looking slightly crushed as Dean makes him promise to kill him.

" _If I do go dark side, you gotta take me out."_

" _What do you mean?"_

" _Knife me, smite me, throw me into the freakin' sun. Whatever. And don't let Sam get in the way, because he'll try. I can't go down that road again, man. I can't be that thing again."_

Dean on his knees in the middle of a room, surrounded by dead bodies. Sam tapping his cheek, while Cas stared in horror and despair, shielding the girl.

Dean watched as these shards of events flew past him and he wondered what he could do.

* * *

"You still don't get it?"

Dean turned and saw Gabriel standing there.

Gabriel had a contemplative look on his face. "You know, the only one I was supposed to send was you. After all, you have the biggest influence on Castiel." He shrugged. "Still, I figured you could use the support and they have as much right to see how things turned out."

"Can I really stop it?" Dean asked.

Gabriel was quiet for a moment. "For them, no." He looked a bit sad. "For them, this has already happened. The moment you change things, due to my interference, they'll just become an alternate universe."

"So Cas…"

"Who knows, not everything is set in stone there." Gabriel summoned a sucker and popped it in his mouth. "Still, things in general just suck."

"So what can I do?" Dean asked, frustrated.

"I told you from the get-go what the lesson was, what you should do." Gabriel sighed and looked up. "Is it just me or do I always have to end up explaining the lesson because these morons can't figure it out themselves?" There was no response. "Fine." He huffed.

He gestured for Dean to sit down, and suddenly Dean found himself back at the Bunker at the library tables.

"Have you ever thought of actually listening?" Gabriel asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"You've thought it yourself the past few days." Gabriel put his feet up on the table and leaned back. "You never really take Cas and his problems seriously. Then, when he does something you don't like, you don't try to understand and push him away. I didn't really show you many of those, but there are, like, a ton of stuff like that."

"But…" Dean's brow furrowed in confusion. "That seems to be too easy."

"You prevented that other future you saw from happening by making a single phone call to Sam." Gabriel pointed out. "It's these simple, emotional things that are hard for you. That's why you need to be shown what happens when you don't do it."

Dean was quiet as he mulled things over. "And this way… Cas won't end up all alone?"

Gabriel gave him a serious look. "Dean-o, if you ever got up the courage to ever ask him to stay, no matter what the point in time, that's all it would take to make sure Cas doesn't end up alone."

Gabriel began to raise his hand to snap his fingers. But Dean gestured for him to stop.

"Will we remember this? I mean, I'm pretty sure we learned plenty of stuff we shouldn't know yet."

Gabriel blinked. "Wow, being smart for once." Dean snorted, about to protest, when Gabriel went on. "You may not remember everything. You'll have the gist of things and impressions of what you don't really need to know. More importantly, you'll remember the important lessons."

Before Dean could utter another word, the archangel snapped his fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Next chapter is the last. I originally titled this chapter "Shards of Time." Then I realized that I showed basically everything up until now, so I decided to go with "The Road So Far." I didn't include everything that I could have, but I thought I got the highlights and best plot points that lead to what we have now. Til next time.


	13. We're Making It Up As We Go

Dean woke up back in the Impala. Sam was snoozing in the passenger's seat and Bobby was in the backseat. Dean looked through the windshield to see the abandoned house where they had been attacked by Crowley's demons.

Dean stared at it, thinking of what they had been planning earlier. He came to a decision and started up the car.

Sam and Bobby woke up half way through the drive back. They had been sleeping a lot lately. Both of them slowly woke up, and then jolted awake, looking around in confusion.

"I had the weirdest dream…" Sam said.

"Let me guess," Bobby said, "Gabriel popped up and sent us to the future where I'm dead, Cas is dying, and Dean's a demon."

Sam looked back in shock, his face saying that he had been hoping that it was a bad dream.

"Yeah, that was real." Dean said.

Sam's forehead crinkled as he thought about it. "So, what was the lesson anyway? Last I remember, we were eating in the kitchen." His forehead cleared and he looked at Dean suspiciously. "But you stayed with Cas in the main room."

"Yeah." Dean's grip tightened as he remembered Cas's face while he explained what had happened to him.

"So what now?" Bobby asked, leaning into the backseat. "We still going to summon him."

"No." Dean said firmly.

Sam and Bobby exchanged a look.

"Dean," Sam said in that understanding tone of his. "We've seen how things end up. From what Gabriel said, it started now, so we need to do something about it."

"And sticking Cas in a circle of holy fire is part of what made things end up that way." Dean protested. "So we're going to try something different."

Sam and Bobby glanced at each other again.

"What've you got in mind, boy?" Bobby asked.

"Something I should have done a year ago." Dean's gripped tightened on the steering wheel as the Impala roared down the highway.

* * *

The other two made no comment as the Impala rolled into Bobby's driveway. Dean felt a surge of relief at the sight of that familiar house still standing. That Bunker place had been cool, and Dean could see that Bobby was itching to find it and delve into those books, but for Dean, it was this house that was the closest thing he thought of as _home_.

By this time, morning was almost breaking, so Sam and Bobby walked into the house. Dean turned them down and instead leaned up against the Impala's hood. He ran a hand down his face and sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Cas, can we talk?" He asked the open air, and he wasn't surprised when he heard the familiar sound of rustling wings. Dean opened his eyes to see Castiel in front of him, his head tilted in confusion.

"What do you need? Is something wrong?" Castiel's eyes immediately darting around as if expecting some of Raphael's goons to pop up or Crowley to break their deal and attack Dean himself.

Dean didn't answer right away taking in the sight of Castiel and comparing him to the new future version that he had in his mind. He could see what Cas had meant in that he wasn't really the picture of perfect health. He looked beyond stressed and tired. Still, he didn't appear as tired as his future counterpart, and there was no shroud of guilt in his eyes. There was no pressure from what had happened on his shoulders.

His eyes were still bright, not resigned or thinking that he should die. He might have the weight of the world's fate on his shoulders, but he didn't have the weight of his mistakes.

Still, it felt wrong that he just showed up and he immediately thought that Dean needed him to do something.

"Dean?" Castiel stepped closer, still looking confused.

Dean sighed once more. "We know about you've made some kind of deal with Crowley."

Cas immediately stepped back, fear and horror filling his eyes.

_Fear that me and the others will abandon him_. Dean realized, which is basically what had happened to the other Castiel.

"I see." Cas looked down. "I should – "

"Don't go." Dean said, and he grabbed Cas's wrist. Cas looked up at Dean in surprise. The two of them rarely had touched by this point. "Please."

"Dean?" Cas seemed to be confused by Dean's insistence, and really Dean wanted to punch himself in the face. He knew that things had been bad between him and Cas since the Apocalypse, but Cas shouldn't be confused over Dean wanting him to simply stay.

"I don't know why you did it." Dean said hurriedly, knowing he had to get everything out before he screwed things up. "I do know that we probably haven't been the best examples of dealing with demons. Though," he shook his head, "dammit, Cas, why'd you do it?"

"You're – you're not angry?" Cas's voice was tentative and Dean's heart broke at how Cas almost seemed to expect him to hit the angel. Gabriel's puppy analogy was suddenly making a lot more sense.

"I am, but at the moment, not at you." Crowley was a better person to blame. After all, the manipulative son of a bitch had gotten them before.

"Why?" Cas asked, and Dean's heart broke again at how the angel sounded so scared of Dean being angry yet confused over how Dean could try to understand. "In the past, you have made it clear – "

"Not anymore." Dean promised. He wouldn't turn his back on Cas and his problems again. It seemed that Cas's problem would affect him anyway, so he might as well pay attention.

He wasn't going to be such a shitty friend anymore.

"I don't know why you did it." Dean repeated. "Or what exactly you want to do.

"But I want to try to understand." He continued, looking Cas right in the eye. "So please, tell me."

The sun peeked up over the horizon, and as its light reached out over the land, Dean saw a new emotion enter Castiel's eyes.

Hope.

As the two of them leaned against the Impala, Cas began to explain everything from the beginning. His voice washed over Dean telling of a dive back into Hell, an ultimatum, a look at a content life, and the deal that could save everyone while keeping that one precious person out of it.

Then, when the story was over, Castiel looked down, afraid to look Dean in the eye to see anger over what had happened. For once though, Dean knew exactly what to do, especially now that he knew the whole story of what had happened. Cas had been put in an impossible situation, and Dean probably would have done the same. It seemed that his future self _had_ done the same.

Dean took Cas by the arm and pulled him into a hug. At first, the angel was stiff in his grasp, surprised. Then he melted in Dean's arms, his own coming up to wrap around the human.

Cas had been fighting, basically by himself, for almost two years. He needed to know that Dean and the others were here for him, and since words did not seem to have worked, it was time to pull out the big guns. Normally, Dean didn't hug unless someone was back from the dead. He would make an exception for Cas.

Dean couldn't lose Cas, and he didn't want Cas to end up alone. Cas needed this just as much as him.

Dean didn't know how much this would change things, but he knew that things wouldn't turn out like they had in that universe. This might not be the intended story, but…

They would make it up as they went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I would like to thank everyone for taking the time to read this. This is probably one of the longest fics I've ever written, even if it doesn't have the most chapters. I'm not really going to delve too much of what happened after this. I think if Dean and the others had been more understanding Cas would have had something to anchor himself on in order to not be controlled by the souls, but afterward? There are some things that would have happened regardless (like Sam's wall would come down eventually, Henry and Abbadon would have time traveled, and Crowley would always be a thorn in their side) but I don't know how things would be really different.
> 
> I like to hope it would be for the better but I can't be sure. I'll leave that up to you.
> 
> Also, Cas gets a hug, because he deseves all the hugs in the world. I still get pissed off from when Sam refused Cas's hug in Season 6. Hug an angel today, okay? After all, it's Christmas. On a side note, there are two important references that I would like to point out. The first is the title of the story, which is based off of how Cas started off episode 6x20 "The Man Who Would Be King" and his prayer, which said that they (Team Free Will and Bobby) ripped up the ending for the grand story. In this fic, Dean and the others see the ending that they're heading towards, and Dean decides to change it. Then this chapter is a reference to episode 4x22 "Lucifer Rising" where Chuck says that they aren't meant to be in the story and Castiel replies that they're making it up. Since they ripped out that ending, now the characters are writing a new story (and you can too). So, thank you once more, and I'll see you around. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This idea came to me as I was thinking that things have been really crappy ever since Season 6, leading to the the crappiness in their lives in the current season. This is my way of fixing it. After all, when Dean last saw the future, he did everything he could to change it. I'm also sending Bobby and Sam on this trip, but the focus will be on Dean and a bit on him and Cas, so they don't really do much except occasionally offer comments from the peanut gallery. I haven't written a multi-chapter fic in a while, and I've realized it's hard to do things with everyone when you're mostly focusing on one. Also, you'll probably notice hints of Destiel, but I'm not writing this as a Destiel fic. So it's just like the show in that regard.


End file.
